Wally Comic Strips - Page 29

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Wally

View 281 - 290 results for Wally comic strips. Discover the best "Wally" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok's Phone Case

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok's Phone Case  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cell phone, aesthetics, impractical, practicality, break, screen, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I kept dropping my phone and breaking it, so now I keep it wrapped in a big ball of cotton. Wally: Why would you buy a phone that breaks so easily? Asok: I like the way it looks.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, accomplishment, narcissist, narcissism, review, firing, excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

Boss Hits Jackpot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Boss Hits Jackpot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gambling, Win, loss, money, obliviousness, jackpot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My side job as a professional gambler is going great. I won a $5,000 jackpot this weekend. Dilbert: How much did you lose? Boss: About $700,000 and my wife. Wally: Didn't you tell her about the $5,000?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags antisocial, goals, achievement, aspirations, frustration, reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Wally, do you have goals? Wally: My goal is to be an Olympic pole vaulter. Tina: You don't look... Wally: Sporty? Tina: I was going to say healthy. Wally: That's why Olympic pole vaulting is my goal> I wouldn't need a goal to do something easy. Tina: Are you training for it? Wally: No. Tina: You're living in a fantasy world! You'll never get to the Olympics! I can't sit here and listen to this. Dilbert: Looks like you accomplished your goal. Wally: Thanks for noticing.

Elbonian Hackers Delete Wally's Report

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Elbonian Hackers Delete Wally's Report - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags evidence, excuses, hackers, hacking, laziness, assignment, elbonians, a, zing report

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish your assignment? Wally: Yes, but Elbonian hackers deleted my report along with all of my backups. Boss: I have no way of knowing that's true. Wally: It was an amazing report! Better than you've ever seen.

Fake Email From The Ceo

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fake Email From The Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags virus, infection, malware, technology, typo, literacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't delete the Elbonian virus in our network. It keeps replicating. Holy carp! It created a fake email full of typos and bad ideas and sent it out from our CEO's account! Wait, no. That's actually from our CEO. Wally: Maybe the virus can fix him.

Threatening Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Threatening Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, excuse, threat, ultimatum

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Wally, did you finish the data scrub? Wally: No, a defect in my brain made me too lazy. Woman: Perhaps some sort of threat would get you going. Wally: It's worth a try. Woman: Do your work or else I'll tell everyone you're useless! Wally: That would save me a lot of time.

Brain Scan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brain Scan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags brain, thinking, cognition, personality, abnormality, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My doctor says my laziness is caused by a brain abnormality. Dilbert: Doesn't everyone in the world have a unique brain that determines what they do? Boss: Is he right about that? Wally: I'd have to see his brain scan. Sounds like a tumor.

Doctor Will Operate

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Doctor Will Operate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, happiness, satisfaction, aspirations, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: The MRI shows unusual activity in the laziness region of your brain. Normally, I would recommend brain surgery, but your brain also registers an unusually high level of happiness. Wally: So... how do we handle this? Doctor: I'm going to operate on myself to make me more like you.

Wally Not Motivated

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Not Motivated - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, motivation, behavior, medical, treatment, blame, accountability, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I need to take a medical leave to recover from my crippling laziness. Boss: Laziness is a behavior problem, not a medical problem. Wally: That would suggest you have not motivated me enough. Boss: Can't be that. It sounds more like you're dying.