Retail Business Comic Strips - Page 29

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Boss Not Returning Messages

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Boss Not Returning Messages  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, business, boss, fire, message, importance, sarcasm, employment, face mask

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asok: our pointy-haired boss isn't returning my messages, do you think he plans to fire me? dilbert: no asok: phew! good. dilbert: you're just totally unimportant to him. asok: yes! that's where i want to be!

Becoming Golem

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Becoming Golem   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, creature, cynical, doom, experience, face mask, golem, jaded, lord of the rings, office workers, work, coffee, sarcasm

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asok: i've noticed that the more experience i gain, the more cynical and jaded i become. am i doomed to become a golem-like creature with a bad attitude if i work here long enough? no offense. Wally: none taken.

Wally Will Look Into It

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Wally Will Look Into It   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, help, forget, note, procrastination, sarcasm, surprise

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tina: ...so, maybe you can help? wally: i'll look into it. tina: perhaps you could write yourself a little note so you don't forget. wally: nah. tina: should i abandon all hope now or wait? wally: depends how much you like surprises.

No More Id Badges

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No More Id Badges    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, employment, i.d. badge, employees, freedom, tattoo, sarcasm, face mask

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boss: the company is considering no longer requiring employees to wear i.d. badges. asok yelling: yes! freedom! dilbert: too too. hold... hold... boss: ...in favor of permanent forehead tattoos. dilbert: always wait for the second part.

Package Design

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 Package Design  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, vp of sales, technology, sales, selling, design, proposal, package, jump, roof, crazy, sarcasm, face mask

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dilbert: i got feedback on the proposed package design. our vp of sales says if we go with this design, he will "jump off the roof." alice: is he crazy or just good at selling? dilbert: no way to tell.

Where The Problems Are

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Where The Problems Are - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, application, app, technology, improvement, dumb, implement, problems, insult, face mask

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co-worker: do you have any suggestions for improving the app? dilbert: yes, but you are far too dumb to implement any of them, so i won't bother. co-worker: at least tell me where the problems are. dilbert pointing at co-worker: the big ones are all in this big bag of skin.

Word Salad

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Word Salad   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, argument, implications, long term, ramifications, strategic, priorities, word salad, trigger, cognitive, dissonance, business, face mask

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boss: you think you made a good argument, but... you are failing to consider the overall implications of the long-term ramifications with regard to strategic priorities. dilbert: that big bowl of word salad suggests i triggered you into cognitive dissonance. boss: tuna carpet!

Ted Takes Selfie With Bear

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Ted Takes Selfie With Bear  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, selfie, picture, wild, bear, success, techology, business, face mask

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wally: did you hear ted took a selfie with a wild bear? dilbert: wow. where can i see that picture? wally: you'd need to ask the bear. it didn't go well.

5 G Doorway To The Demon World

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 5 G Doorway To The Demon World  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 5g, accident, business, demon, public, spook, technology, world

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dilbert: our 5g test accidentally opened a doorway to the demon world. boss: let's keep that to ourselves so we don't spook the public. dilbert: don't tell me. tell daryll. green demon standing behind boss: hey, nice world you have here.

5 G Gives You A Bird Head

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  5 G Gives You A Bird Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, social media, bird head, study, apathy, 5g

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dilbert: according to people on social media, our 5g technology will "give you a bird head." maybe we should study it a bit more. wally: nah, i'd wait until we see a beak.