Waste Time Comic Strips - Page 29

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Waste Time

View 281 - 290 results for waste time comic strips. Discover the best "Waste Time" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, work ethic, on time, under budget, beleievable, working smoothly

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My project is coming along great. Everything is on time and under budget. Boss: Do you really expect me to believe that everything you're working on is going smoothly? Wally: No, but apparently you believe I work, and I didn't see that coming either.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags can't memorize names, handshake, simultaneously, names, introductions

View Transcript

Transcript

Randy: Hi. I'm Randy. Dilbert: I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time. Randy: It's Randy. Dilbert; Don't even bother. Seriously.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, friendship, remember, memory, dressed as clown, funerals, told everyone, keep things light, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Experts say I can improve my likeability by showing that I remember things that people have told me. For example, there was the time you said you always go to funerals dressed as a clown to keep things light. Ted: I never said that! Dilbert: Are you sure? I told everyone you did.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, money, obliviousness, travel budget, business travel, long term profitability, budget frozen

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The travel budget is frozen so we can meet our income estimates for this quarter. Dilbert: Is that because all business travel is a waste of time or because we no longer care about long-term profitability? Take as long as you need. Boss: Um...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags injured ceo, rolex watches, steamer trunk, freak accident, helicopter, yacht, company ceo, time flys, having funds, intern, comments, company, employees, office gossip, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our CEO was injured when a steamer trunk full of Rolex watches fell out of his luggage helicopter and landed on his yacht. Asok: They say time flies then you're having funds. Alice; Out intern is growing up so fast. Asok: The walk-off is what sells it!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boredom, conversation, plantkiller, data, kill plants, office plants

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Hey, plantkiller, do you have the ata I asked for? Coworker: Plantkiller? Who calls me that? Alice: Everyone does. Your stories are so boring that you kill all office plants within earshot. Give me a hand signal when you're done. Coworker: This reminds me of the time I took the stairs.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, potato, worlds worst conversationalist, russet

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Did I tell you about the time I saw a potato? Asok: We are being assaulted by the world's worst conversationalist. Coworker: It was a russet! Asok: Help! Help! Help!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet & world wide web, movies, clever video, create video, internet, go viral, marketing experts, engineer, more passion, loser attitude, viral video, Entertainment, technology, engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to create a clever video about our product for the Internet. But make sure it goes viral or you're a total failure. Dilbert: No one can predict what goes viral. Marketing experts fail at this sort of thing 99% of the time. I'm an engineer with no relevant skills for this assignment. Boss: Maybe you could succeed if you had more passion. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! I need a rational boss, not passion! Boss: That's sort of a loser attitude. Asok: Hey, my video is going viral!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags embarrassment, inventions, good news, fuel source, organic waste material, awkward

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: the good news is that we're going to test a new furl source for you. The bad news is that the fun source is organic waste material. Irs awkward for me too. Just close your eyes , ok?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, mental health, vision not money, mental problems, low self esteem, performance review, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need employees that are motivated by our vision, not by money. Catbert: Are we looking for any other mental problems, or just that one? Boss: I"m also a big fan of low self-esteem. It comes in handy at performance review time.