2010 Comic Strips - Page 29

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new vice president of engineering, #office, #lack of experience, #revenge, #office politics, #worry, #sabotage, #best engineer, #4g, #skeptical, #false information

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The New VP The Boss says, "Don't worry that I wanted your job, or that you have no experience in this field." The Boss says, "I won't try to sabotage you. In fact, I'll send you my best engineer to bring you up to speed." Vice President says, "So... it's called 4G because it's G-G-G-Good." Wally says, "Something like that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new vice president of engineering, #meeting, #introduce, #full body, #face front, #pointy hair, #lack of experience, #exotic, #over selling, #mustache, #business

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The Boss says, "Meet our new vice president of engineering." The Boss says, "We're lucky to have him despite his utter lack of experience in our industry." The Boss says, "Some might call him unqualified, but I call him exotic." Vice President says, "You're over-selling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2010's comic on:


Tags #leg, #rope, #attached, #crony, #ceo, #job, #new boss, #qualified, #monkey, #hammer, #hold, #suspicious, #business, #animals

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CEO says, "This rope is attached to a crony from my last CEO job." CEO says, "Give it a good yank and reel him in. He's your new boss." The Boss says, "Is he qualified for the job?" CEO says, "Like a monkey with a hammer!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2010's comic on:


Tags #party, #woman, #date, #hold drink, #invent, #shoulder phone, #old man's head, #soup, #bones, #scary, #arm out, #surprised, #run away, #scared, #Dogbert, #trick, #auto-answer, #kiss

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Dilbert says, "It's a shoulder phone shaped like an old man's head. I invented it myself." Phone says, "Let's make soup from her bones, just like the others!" Dilbert says, "I shouldn't have told Dogbert it has auto-answer." Phone says, "Kiss me! Now!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2010's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #invention, #old man's head, #face front, #shoulder, #talk, #creepy, #lightbulb, #edison, #technology

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Dilbert says, "It's a cell phone shaped like an old man's head." Dilbert says, "It sits on your shoulder so you don't look as if you're talking to yourself." Dilbert says, "People probably told Edison that his lightbulb was creepy too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #security guard, #shout, #technical advice, #career change, #loud, #yell, #mouth open, #reboot, #Promotion, #hobo, #sponge bath, #lobby fountain, #typo, #nervous

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Henry says, "Try rebooting." Dilbert says, "Who are you?" Henry says, "I'm Henry the security guard. I'm trying to evolve into a new career." Henry says, "I'm ignoring my real job while loudly giving technical advice to coworkers." Henry says, "Eventually, people will start to see me as a valuable technical resource. Promotions will follow." Dilbert says, "Do you know anything about technology besides 'try rebooting'?" The Boss says, "Henry, who let the hobo take a sponge bath in the lobby fountain?" Henry says, "Try rebooting! Try rebooting!" Dilbert says, "To fix a typo?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2010's comic on:


Tags #coworker, #question, #hold out paper, #technical accuracy, #no, #coffee, #bad attitude, #harsh, #grumpy

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Coworker says, "Alice, can you check this for technical accuracy?" Alice says, "Nope. Don't have time." Alice says, "And no one else is qualified, so you might as well give up and look for a new job." Coworker says, "That was a bit harsh." Alice says, "You'd be less worthless if you fetched me some coffee."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2010's comic on:


Tags #copy machine, #paper jam, #poltergeist, #scary, #horror, #upside down, #legs sticking up, #high heels, #kick legs, #yell, #afterworld, #arms, #flail, #hold out arm

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Tina says, "I can almost reach the paper jam, but a poltergeist is trying to drag me to the afterworld." Tina says, "Maybe I can blind him with the toner cartridge. Ha ha! Take that! And that!" Tina says, "Gaaa!!! I can't feel my arms!" Dilbert says, "I only have one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #poltergeist, #copy machine, #promote, #server, #union, #scary, #creepy, #original, #nervous, #business

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The Boss says, "I hired a new poltergeist for our copy machine. Our old one got promoted to the server farm." Dilbert says, "Wouldn't it be better to not have any poltergeists?" The Boss says, "It's a union thing." Tina says, "May I please have my original back?" Poltergeist says, "I can't hear you. Put your face up close."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2010's comic on:


Tags #technical issue, #coworker, #sitting in chairs, #facing each other, #software, #yell, #condescend, #stupid, #dumb, #dense, #shout, #sitting on couch, #touchy, #engineering

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Dilbert says, "I've been asked to explain our technical issue in terms you can understand." Logan says, "Good." Dilbert says, "THE SOFTWARE, IT NO WORKY!!!" Dilbert says, "He was dense and touchy. It's a bad combination."