2017 Comic Strips - Page 29
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Character
Sunday March 26,
2017
Tags conversation, delay, frustration, interpersonal communication
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you know how to clean up line noise on an XLR connection? Man: No but I can show you how to do something different. Dilbert: Why would I want to see something different? Man: Because it reminds me of what you want to do. Dilbert: I don't need to see that. Man It will only take ten minutes. Dilbert: I don't have ten minutes. It never takes only ten minutes, and it isn't relevant to my situation. Man: I'm going to show you anyway because you're too polite to walk away while I'm talking. Narrator: Thirty minutes later. Dilbert: Something is wrong with you. Man: Now watch me do it left-handed!
Saturday March 25,
2017
Wally's Coffee Drone
Tags managers, management, ideas, invention, coffee
Transcript
Wally: My leadership job didn't last long. I got demoted back to engineering. I guess they realized all of my ideas are about coffee. Dilbert: I've noticed that too. Wally: Watch out for my coffee drone behind you.
Friday March 24,
2017
Wally Gets Promoted
Tags managers, management, leadership, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Wally: I got promoted to a leadership role. It means I get to tell people to work hard, but I don't have to do any worm myself. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Wally: I could use a fresh one of these.
Thursday March 23,
2017
Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever
Tags success, Promotion, management, work, laziness
Transcript
Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.
Wednesday March 22,
2017
Wally's Invention Goes Into Production
Tags invention, success, laziness, fairness, unfair
Transcript
Alice: The board decided to put your invention of a phone charger that warms coffee into production. Market surveys show enormous demand. You're probably going to be our Employee Of The Year. This disturbs me on many levels. Wally: Genius is often disruptive.
Tuesday March 21,
2017
Wally Presents His Invention To The Ceo
Monday March 20,
2017
Wally Accidentally Invents Coffee Warmer
Tags invention, engineer, coffee, cell phone, technology, idea, engineering
Transcript
Wally: Nothing is going right today. My phone charger is too hot, and my coffee is too cold. Dilbert: Did you just invent a phone charger that keeps your coffee warm? Wally: Did I? Dilbert: I'll have a prototype for you tomorrow. Narrator: Continued...
Sunday March 19,
2017
Tags communication, mumbling, speech, understanding
Transcript
Dilbert: What's the URL for the test site? Boss: Ask Amy. Dilbert; Amy is a mumbler. I can't understand a word she says. Boss; Just ask her to speak up. Dilbert: I've tried that. All she does is mumble louder. And whenever I ask her a question by email, she answers the wrong question. If the only person who knows the URL for the test site is Amy, we probably need to build a new site and tell someone else the URL. Amy might be the most useless employee in the entire company. Wally: Can you teach me to mumble? Amy: Mumble, mumble, mumble. Narrator: Get your own system.
Saturday March 18,
2017
Devil's Advocate
Tags devil's advocate, demon, devil, anger, idiom
Transcript
Boss: Do you mind if I play devil's advocate on this? Dilbert: Okay. Boss: Die! Die! Die! Suffer and burn forever!!! How was that? Dilbert: Better than I expected.
Friday March 17,
2017
Dilbert Loses His Budget
Tags vacation, decision, funding, money
Transcript
Boss: You were on vacation last week so I made decisions about your project without you. Dilbert: Oh no... what have you done? Boss: I transferred your budget to another project. Dilbert: I need that money! Boss: Oh. Can you wait until the other project manager goes on vacation?


