Best Leaders Comic Strips - Page 29

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

313 Results for Best Leaders

View 281 - 290 results for best leaders comic strips. Discover the best "Best Leaders" comics from Dilbert.com.

Followship Training

Thank you for voting.
Followship Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #following, #lazy, #work ethic, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm too busy to take a leaders hip class, so I'm sending all of you to a followship class. Dilbert: Is that so we can learn how to follow someone who never learned to lead? Boss: That sounds like a good question for your followship teacher.

Fairness Is For Kids And Idiots

Thank you for voting.
Fairness Is For Kids And Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #fair, #fairness, #wages, #equality, #worth, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The new hire gets paid more than me. It isn't fair. Dogbert: Fairness is a concept that was invented so kids and idiots could participate in debates. Dilbert: Hey, that's not fair. Dogbert: The best case scenario here is that you're younger than you look.

Who Wants The Legacy System Job

Thank you for voting.
Who Wants The Legacy System Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #legacy, #underachiever, #volunteer

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm assigning our best and brightest engineers to the new system integration team. Anyone who is left over gets to be in charge of watching our legacy system slowly rot. Dilbert: Who would want that job? Wally: Me!!! Pick me!!!

Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #success, #Promotion, #management, #work, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.

Culture As An Asset

Thank you for voting.
Culture As An Asset - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #company, #culture, #motivation, #strategy, #buzzword, #jargon, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've been telling employees that our culture is our best asset. Catbert: Do they pretend that makes sense? Boss: Yes, because we have a culture of lying to avoid conflict.

Cyborg Rumors

Thank you for voting.
Cyborg Rumors - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cyborg, #robot, #employees, #replacement, #deception, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: There's a rumor that you plan to replace all normal employees with cyborgs that have microchips in their brains. Boss: There is no truth to the rumor that I plan to replace defective employees with highly capable, enhanced humanoids. Dilbert: I can't tell if you're lying. Boss: That's actually the best argument for keeping you around.

Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2017's comic on:


Tags #medicine, #excuse, #doctor, #laziness, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I keep falling asleep during meetings. Dogbert: Your problem is that you're useless. I'll give you a doctor's note that says you can sleep during meetings. Wally: You're the best doctor ever. Dogbert: Tell that to the tip jar in the lobby.

Alice Tries To Be Interesting

Thank you for voting.
Alice Tries To Be Interesting  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #nap, #sleep, #meetings, #boredom, #narcolepsy, #laziness, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have a doctor's note that says I can sleep during meetings. That puts the pressure on you to be interesting enough to keep me awake. Alice: I'll do my best, but... Wally: ZZZZZ.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cpr, #bragging, #braggart, #ego, #one-up, #storytelling, #exaggeration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My CPR instructor says I was one of his best students. Topper: That's nothing. I'm so good at CPR that my practice dummy came to life. He grew limbs and got married to a crash test dummy. They had three mannequins together and they live in the suburbs. But the marriage didn't last because the CPR dummy could not forget the taste of my lips. I blame myself for being irresistible. Why do all of my conversations end with me sitting alone?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #analogy, #hyperbole, #exaggeration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Once we have all of the vendors' bids, we will pick the best one. Man: Oh, great, so you're saying we should be exactly like serial killers? Dilbert: Uh... what? Man: Serial killers also choose their victims. Can't you see the warning flags here? You're basically promoting murder. Dilbert: That is literally the most ridiculous and unhelpful analogy of all time. I doubt you could come up with a worse analogy, no matter how hard you tried. Man: Hitler said something like that before invading Poland. Boss: Good point.