Brain Storm Ideas Comic Strips - Page 29

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

346 Results for Brain Storm Ideas

View 281 - 290 results for brain storm ideas comic strips. Discover the best "Brain Storm Ideas" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #honesty, #corporate culture, #micromanaging, #higgs - boson, #taboo, #new culture

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm looking for ideas on how we can improve our corporate culture. Alice: You could start by being less of a micromanaging d-bag who hides like a Higgs-boson whenever we need a decision. Boss: That didn't help. Alice: Will honesty still be taboo in the new culture?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #relations between the sexes, #collaborate, #sexism, #water down, #interpretation

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, I want you to collaborate with Larry. Alice: And by collaborate you mean water down my brilliance with this dullard's brain flatulence. Boss: She doesn't play well with others. Alice: If I were a man, you'd call it confidence.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discussion, #thinking, #brain storming, #ignore studies, #hatred, #agreed

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Who wants to go first with the brainstorming? Dilbert: I suggest we ignore all of the studies that say brainstorming doesn't work. Boss: Now I hate you a little extra. Dilbert: Because I agreed with your plan?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bossify, #deception, #fund ideas, #genius, #ideas, #customer support, #software, #budget approval, #delay projects, #low priority, #wise, #funding, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You had a great idea bout upgrading our customer support software. Boss: I don't remember having that idea. Dilbert: It was genius. Boss: Well, that does sound like something I would suggest. Dilbert: We'll need budget approval, but that should be no problem for you. Boss: Duh. Obviously I'll fund my idea. It's genius. Dilbert: I'll need to delay my other project, but, as you said, those are lower priorities. Boss: I said that? Dilbert: It was very wise of you. Alice: How did you get funding for your idea? Dilbert: I had to bossify it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obliviousness, #thinking, #judge them, #chipmunk, #judge algebra, #complex and useful, #innovative circuit design, #engineer, #office setting, #desks, #computers, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you have any great ideas? Dilbert: How would I know? Boss: You could tell me your ideas and I'll judge them Dilbert: That's like asking a chipmunk to judge algebra. Boss: Are you comparing me to algebra? Dilbert: Sure, let's go with that. Boss: That makes sense because algebra is complex and useful... just like me. Dilbert: So... what do you think of this innovative circuit design? Boss: It's um... fine? Dilbert: Said the chipmunk to the engineer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #brain wash, #company profits, #more imprtant, #employers engagement, #12 hour days, #work for money

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: I'm going to brainwash you to believe company profits are more important than your health. It's called "employee engagement," and it will make you work 12-hour days while thinking you enjoy every minute of it. Dilbert: Can I just work for money? Catbert: Why are you being a jerk about this?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #ideas, #sock at, #steal ideas, #double workload, #employee, #boss, #professional realtionships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have a great idea? Boss: What kind? Is it the kind I scoff at, the kind I steal, or the kind that makes me double your workload? Dilbert: It might be all of those. Boss: Sounds good so far.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new idea, #dream, #3d glasses, #for real life, #people love 3d, #not movies, #obvious, #ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Last night, an idea for a new product came to me in a dream. Dilbert: ICK CEO: 3-D Glasses. Dilbert: To watch movies? CEO: No, real life. Dilbert: So...The glasses would make life in general appear three-dimensional? CEO: Exactly! People Love 3-D Stuff. Dilbert: Im not going to respond to your idea. Im just going to sit here looking three-dimensional. CEO: wait....how are you doing that? Dilbert: Im wearing glasses that make me look 3-D

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assumption, #business ethics, #buy prodcuts, #corporate strategy, #corporation, #customer centric, #etiquette & ethics, #evil, #executives, #ideas, #marketing campaign, #monopoly, #needs, #needs of customers, #psychological manipulation

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I welcome any input on our corporate strategy. Dilbert: I think we need to be more customer-centric. CEO: You mean raise our prices? Dilbert: I mean focus on the needs of our customers. CEO: You mean we should be a monopoly so they need us? Dilbert: Um, no. We should find out what they need and then give it to them. CEO: They need to buy our products. Dilbert: They probably don't. CEO: So you're saying our marketing campaign should use psychological manipulation to make people think they need our products. You finally had a good idea. Dilbert: I'm going to stop talking now.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #technology problem, #executive attention netowrk, #social awareness, #radical change, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have to warn you that I'll be going deep on a technology problem today. I'll be using the executive attention network of my brain at the expense of my social awareness. Boss: Sounds like a radical change. Dilbert: I can't tell if that was sarcasm.