Contort Face Comic Strips - Page 29

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

327 Results for Contort Face

View 281 - 290 results for contort face comic strips. Discover the best "Contort Face" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Is Sexist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Dilbert Is Sexist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, managers & supervisors, office workers, fire, crazy, gender, true, false, anger, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i want you to fire dilbert because he said i might be nuts. he wouldn't say that to a man. boss: he said the same thing to me last week. tina yelling: it doesn't count if it's true!

Applying Math To Guesses

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Applying Math To Guesses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, managers & supervisors, employment, business, analysis, discount rate, installation, maintenance, project, technology, math, guess, sarcasm, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: how confident are you in your analysis? dilbert: very confident. boss: good. dilbert: unless i used the wrong discount rate, which is hard to know. boss: but otherwise, it's solid? dilbert: except for the installation and maintenance costs, which are wild guesses. and we don't know if we sized the project right, so costs could be double or triple. boss: it sounds as if you applied math to a bunch of wild guesses. dilbert: yes, but i got the result you wanted. boss: next time, just say that.

Ted Takes Selfie With Bear

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Takes Selfie With Bear  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, selfie, picture, wild, bear, success, techology, business, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: did you hear ted took a selfie with a wild bear? dilbert: wow. where can i see that picture? wally: you'd need to ask the bear. it didn't go well.

Narcisism Makes You Happy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Narcisism Makes You Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, sarcasm, narcissim, happy, unhappy, therapist, reason, face mask, wrong

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: you should see a therapist about your narcissism. dilbert: if i'm happy and you're unhappy, doesn't that mean you should see a therapist and i should stay the way i am? carol: no, that's totally wrong, but give me a minute to come up with a reason.

Word Salad

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Word Salad   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, argument, implications, long term, ramifications, strategic, priorities, word salad, trigger, cognitive, dissonance, business, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: you think you made a good argument, but... you are failing to consider the overall implications of the long-term ramifications with regard to strategic priorities. dilbert: that big bowl of word salad suggests i triggered you into cognitive dissonance. boss: tuna carpet!

Where The Problems Are

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Where The Problems Are - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, application, app, technology, improvement, dumb, implement, problems, insult, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

co-worker: do you have any suggestions for improving the app? dilbert: yes, but you are far too dumb to implement any of them, so i won't bother. co-worker: at least tell me where the problems are. dilbert pointing at co-worker: the big ones are all in this big bag of skin.

Package Design

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Package Design  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, vp of sales, technology, sales, selling, design, proposal, package, jump, roof, crazy, sarcasm, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i got feedback on the proposed package design. our vp of sales says if we go with this design, he will "jump off the roof." alice: is he crazy or just good at selling? dilbert: no way to tell.

No More Id Badges

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No More Id Badges    - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, employment, i.d. badge, employees, freedom, tattoo, sarcasm, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the company is considering no longer requiring employees to wear i.d. badges. asok yelling: yes! freedom! dilbert: too too. hold... hold... boss: ...in favor of permanent forehead tattoos. dilbert: always wait for the second part.

Becoming Golem

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Becoming Golem   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, creature, cynical, doom, experience, face mask, golem, jaded, lord of the rings, office workers, work, coffee, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: i've noticed that the more experience i gain, the more cynical and jaded i become. am i doomed to become a golem-like creature with a bad attitude if i work here long enough? no offense. Wally: none taken.

Boss Not Returning Messages

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Not Returning Messages  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, business, boss, fire, message, importance, sarcasm, employment, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: our pointy-haired boss isn't returning my messages, do you think he plans to fire me? dilbert: no asok: phew! good. dilbert: you're just totally unimportant to him. asok: yes! that's where i want to be!