Eliminate Vacation Days Comic Strips - Page 29

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

295 Results for Eliminate Vacation Days

View 281 - 290 results for eliminate vacation days comic strips. Discover the best "Eliminate Vacation Days" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Throws Penalty Flag

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Throws Penalty Flag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #the boss, #asok, #Wally, #Dilbert, #accomplish, #addicted, #apps, #fortnite, #slept, #losers, #podcast

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I accomplished nothing this week because I'm addicted to apps on my phone. I haven't slept in three days because of my "Fortnite" habit. The Boss: What about the rest of you losers? Asok: Shhh. I got a one-ear podcast going here.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #customer, #meeting, #engineers, #years, #disasters, #worry, #data, #centers, #blockchain

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I go with you to the customer meeting? I'm worried you might promise something we can't deliver. The Boss: Don't be ridiculous! I've been having customer meetings without engineers for years. Dilbert: I know and they all turn into disasters. The Boss: You worry too much! Everything will be fine! Man: Can you replace our data centers with blockchain? The Boss: Give us two days.

Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #earth, #mistake, #plants, #technology, #inventions, #atmosphere

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've developed a super-efficient device that scrubs CO2 out of the air. But the user has to remember to turn it off after a few days or else it will remove too much CO2 and destroy all life on Earth. Man: Hey, who left this thing unplugged?

Hallucinations At Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hallucinations At Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #server, #hallucinate, #network

View Transcript

Transcript

in conference room. dilbert: i recommend we upgrade one of our servers over the weekend. office workers: so, just to be clear, you want to replace our entire network in two days? dilbert: um...no. i want to replace one defective server. office worker: we can't replace our entire network in two days! that is ridiculous! dilbert: i don't know what is happening right now. dilbert: it's as if they things i say have no impact on what you hallucinate you are hearing. office worker: you think you can replace an entire network in two days, and you think i'm the one who is hallucinating? dilbert: i don't know what to do right now. office worker: your incompetence is confirmed.

Wally Covers For Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Covers For Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #motivation, #vacations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to fill in for me while I'm on vacation. I would have asked someone competent, but they're all on vacation next week, too. Please don't destroy the entire company. Wally: Do I seem that motivated?

Wally Uses Deep Fake

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Uses Deep Fake - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #video, #conference, #call, #technology, #elbonian, #affordable

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i liked what you said on the video conference call yesterday. i've never seen you so engaged and helpful. wally: that wasn't me. that was "deep fake wally." i created him to do all of my video calls. and i hired an elbonian to do all my coding jobs for a very affordable price. wally: these days. i only come to the office for the free coffee. dilbert: and the camaraderie? wally: sure.

Upgrade Schedule

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Upgrade Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #vendor, #network, #upgrade, #allocating, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

vendor: we should be able to finish the network upgrade in about three months. dilbert: when you bid for the job. you said it would take thirty days. vendor: if we're allocating blame. i'm not the one who was dumb enough to believe me.

Stopping Theft Everywhere

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Stopping Theft Everywhere - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #technology, #system, #reduce, #theft, #dumb, #product

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: and by using this system, we will drastically reduce theft. co-worker: that's the dumbest think i have ever heard. no one can stop theft everywhere in the world. dilbert: i said we would reduce it, not eliminate it. and only for our own products. co-worker: so, in other words, it won't work. dilbert: it works to reduce theft. co-worker: but you admit there will be theft. dilbert standing and yelling: what is wrong with you???? co-worker: hey, i'm not the one who is in favor of theft.

Dilbert Cares Not For Safety

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Dilbert Cares Not For Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: ...And we can get that all installed in thirty days. Man: Why do you not care about safety? Dilbert: Literally everyone cares about safety. Man: Then why didn't you mention it? DIlbert: Blah, blah, safety. Happy? "Continued..."

Golden Age For Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Golden Age For Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #6 feet, #avoid, #coffee, #eye contact, #face mask, #grocery shopping, #office workers, #social distancing, #upgrade, #Women

View Transcript

Transcript

wally at coffee pot talking to Dilbert:: social distancing has been a great upgrade to my life. in the old days, women avoided me by at least ten feet. now i often get within seven. i think it's because i'm better-looking with most of my face covered. especially if i wear a hat and sunglasses. and i learned that women will talk to me if i walk the wrong way down a grocery aisle. they're usually complaining but at least they make eye contact. it's sort of a golden age for people like me.