Engineer Skills Comic Strips - Page 29

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

360 Results for Engineer Skills

View 281 - 290 results for engineer skills comic strips. Discover the best "Engineer Skills" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cow supervisor, #bias, #strong leadership, #baldy

View Transcript

Transcript

The cow supervisor A cow says, "I overcame a lot of bias against cows to get this job." The cow says, "People think that a cow with strong leadership skills is just a jerk." The cow says, "Is that what you think, baldy? Huh? Do you? Do you?" Wally says, "Um... I'll say no."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coldness of the grave, #dress it up, #high in demand, #mad, #time, #time management, #waiting

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: Who are we waiting for? Dilbert: Alice. She has poor time management skills. But she's try to dress it up by saying she's in high demand. Why do I suddenly feel the coldness of the grave.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #late, #engineer code, #lightsaber, #kill, #annoy, #flashlight, #yell, #close eyes, #mouth open, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I cannot meet your arbitrary deadline, so the engineer's code requires me to kill myself with a lightsaber." Dilbert says, "But lightsabers haven't been invented yet. The best I can do is annoy myself with a flashlight." The Boss says, "Could you do this in the hall?" Dilbert says, "Annoyance before dishonor!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #skill assessment, #lazy, #bad worker, #morning person, #sleepy, #afternoon, #sell stock, #stand on chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I get sleepy in the afternoon. And I'm not a morning person." Wally says, "I'm at my best for about an hour in between, which explains why I'm an exceptionally good lunch eater." The Boss says, "How's the workforce skills assessment going?" Catbert says, "I just sold all of my company stock."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new product, #defective, #kill, #recall, #fix, #overalls, #bleach, #scrubby brush, #shake hands

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I have a new job for you. Our product is defective and it's killing customers." Dilbert says, "You want me to organize a recall?" The Boss says, "No." Dilbert says, "Engineer a fix?" The Boss says, "No." The Boss says, "You'll need overalls, several barrels of bleach and some sort of scrubby brush."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new boyfriend, #coworker, #angry, #jack, #clench fist, #engineer, #social, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Dilbert, meet my new boyfriend, angry Jack." Alice says, "People say my high level of engineering skill comes at the cost of good social judgment." Dilbert says, "Alice, his name is Angry Jack." Alice says, "I think he wants to hold my hand now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #crying, #afraid, #nervous, #breakdown, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Job tension is running high Asok says, "I?I?forgot to total the cost estimates." Asok says, "Gaaaa!!!! You're going to fire me! I'm the next casualty of the frail economy!!!" The boss says, "Maybe we could finish this by e-mail." Asok says, "Must improve street-mime skills!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #economy, #job, #screaming, #health, #Promotion, #rejection, #denial, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Asok, the company isn't growing, and no one is quitting in this economy." The boss says, "Your only hope for promotion is if a senior engineer dies." Dilbert says, "I joined a gym!" Asok says, "No-ooo!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #ridicule, #cruel, #mean, #rude, #angry, #annoyed, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "With your skills, you have a variety of career options." Catbert says, "For example, you could flap your arms and fly to a planet that places a high value on morons." Catbert says, "Etcetera."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trouble, #customer, #directions, #annoyed, #ashamed

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "Hey, engineer, can I ask you a question?" Dilbert says, "I'm not allowed to talk to customers. We believe that honesty impedes sales." Woman says, "I think you just impeded." Dilbert says, "Oops."