Funny Dog Comic Strips - Page 29
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
297 Results for Funny Dog
View 281 - 290 results for funny dog comic strips. Discover the best "Funny Dog" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 15,
2004
Tags lisa, woman, happy owman, nice woman, engineers liked, appaorachable, cubicle, gifts, poems, Food, replacing
Transcript
The Boss: "Now Dilbert will explain what went wrong with our projects this year." DILBERT: "All of our problems were caused by a woman named Lisa." "Lisa never learned to act aloof and unapproachable. Sometimes she smiles and men she doesn't even know." "Gasp." "Gasp." "As you know, 90% of engineers are lonely men." "A permanent line formed outside her cubicle." "The engineers brought her food, gifts and poems that weren't as funny as they'd hoped." "Food, Gifts, Poems (bad)." "I recommend replacing Lisa with someone more like this." Alice: "What's THAT supposed to mean?" Asok: "My poems aren't funny?"
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday April 27,
2003
Tags customer diservice program, tech supprt, stretched telephone, cleansed online support, useful articles, support groups, train customers
Transcript
The Boss points to a slide of a man making a funny face and says, "We've expanded our customer disservice program." The Boss points to the next slide of a technician saying, "Uh.. reboot." The Boss continues, "...Doubled our unhelpful technical support advice." The next slide is of a customer leaning back with one hand on the phone and the other holding his stomach, saying, "So... hungry." The Boss continues, "... Stretched our telephone hold times to lethal durations..." Wally, Dilbert, and Alice listen as The Boss' voice continues, "... And cleansed our online support database of all useful articles." The Boss says, "Our goal is to force customers to form support groups." The Boss continues, "Over time, with luck, we'll train customers to do our manufacturing and shipping, too." Wally raises his hand and asks, "May I train a customer to do my job?" The Boss replies, "Sure." A little boy sits in front of a computer with a cup of coffee in his hand. He asks Wally, "So.. what do I do?" Wally responds, "You're doing it."
Sunday December 21,
2003
Tags gaga gift money, upcoming birthdays, baby showers, retirements promotions, collecting money, bag of moeny, flush, toilet involved, more effcient, sectional sofa
Transcript
Carol: "I'm collecting money for miscellaneous gag gifts." "We've got upcoming birthdays, baby showers, retirements, promotions, blah, blah, blah." "I'm collecting all of the gag gift money in advance." "Then I'll take the bag of money and flush it down the toilet." "That will be the gag. It's funny because a toilet is involved." "So you can either give me $100 now or I'll be back twenty times at $5 a pop." "You can't resist the siren call of a more efficient process. Give it up, engineer-boy!" "Hello, sectional sofa!"
Saturday February 15,
2014
Tags crimes, revenge, difficult co workers, jerks, jar of polonium, deal with difficulty, office, Politics, registered, dog, stool, animals
Transcript
Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to deal with difficult co-workers. Jerks will always be jerks. Your only hope is to kill them in ways that are untraceable. Boss: We need to talk. Dogbert: Each of you got a jar of polonium when you registered.
Thursday April 23,
2015
Smoking And Iq
Tags smoking, cigarettes, tobacco, intelligence, i.q., interview, hiring
Transcript
Technical Interview. Dilbert: Do you smoke? Man: What does that have to do with my technical skills? Dilbert: A 2010 Israeli study says smokers have lower intelligence. Man: How do you know stuff like that? Dilbert: Would it be funny if I said I don't smoke?
Wednesday May 27,
2015
List Of Known Problems
Tags joke, insult, misanthrope, misanthropy
Transcript
Alice: Did you get the link I sent you for our company directory? Boss: I didn't ask for that. I asked for a list of known problem... Oh. Not funny. Alice: Then how do you explain this?
Friday August 21,
2015
Dilbert Goes To Jail
Tags guilt, innocence, cyborg, crime, criminal, fair, fairness, punishment, jail, responsibility
Transcript
Dilbert: You're arresting me for killing Ted, but a bug in my cyborg components made me do it. If I go to jail, you will remove the cyborg parts that caused the trouble and punish the organic parts of me that are innocent. Police Officer: It's funny when you put it that way.
Monday January 04,
2016
Boss Offers To Help
Tags deadline, help, manager, incompetent, obliviousness, extension
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't get everything done by the deadline. Boss: I'll stop by later to help. Dilbert: That's funny. Boss: What's funny? Dilbert: Using incompetence as a substitute for time.
Saturday March 19,
2016
Boss Is Victim Of Identity Thief
Tags identity theft, impostor, insult, investment, money, stealing, guest artist, josh shipley
Transcript
Boss: An identity thief stole my identity and opened a brokerage account. Dilbert: How did they know he was an impostor? Did he make a smart investment? Boss: That isn't funny. Wally: Did the impostor have a sense of humor?
Wednesday July 25,
2018
Dating A Coworker
Tags dating, relationships, office policy, rules, human resources, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I date a co-worker? Catbert: I doubt it. You're not attractive, funny, or rich. Dilbert: I mean, is it allowed under company rules? Catbert: We only have rules about things that might happen.