Search Results for "gullible world"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Internet Wants Ceo To Die

Thank you for voting.
Internet Wants Ceo To Die - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #anger, #shame, #unpopular, #popularity, #public relations, #gawker

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The company we acquired is making us look bad. Dilbert: How bad? CEO: The internet is demanding that I drink poison and apologize to the world while I die. What should I do? Dilbert: Well, I'm no doctor, but I'd go with something fast-acting.

Dilbert's Project Is In Chaos

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert's Project Is In Chaos  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #accusation, #hearsay, #conjecture, #gullible

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I hear Dilbert's project is in total chaos. Boss: That has to be true because I heard it from three other people. Man: And that's why I told three other people.

Nothing Dilbert Does Matters

Thank you for voting.
Nothing Dilbert Does Matters - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2017's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #accomplishment, #meaning, #meaningless

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I completed my assignment, and yet I feel no sense of accomplishment. Could it be because nothing I do makes any difference in the world? Boss: I was going to tell you that, but I didn't want to demotivate you.

Listening To Your Gut

Thank you for voting.
Listening To Your Gut - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #rumor, #accusation, #skeptic, #gullible, #gut instinct

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: People tell me you're underperforming. Dilbert: Did you hear it from anyone credible? Boss: No, but I know it's true because my gut tells me it's true. Dilbert: I'm curious where you stick you head to listen to your gut?

Arguing On Twitter With Facts

Thank you for voting.
Arguing On Twitter With Facts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #trolling, #troll, #social media, #argument, #logic, #reason, #arguing, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Watch me win this debate on Twitter by providing facts and logic. Now we wait for everyone in the world to change their minds. Dilbert: How's the first minute going? Boss: What is wrong with these monsters?!!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2017's comic on:


Tags #antisocial, #goals, #achievement, #aspirations, #frustration, #reality

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Wally, do you have goals? Wally: My goal is to be an Olympic pole vaulter. Tina: You don't look... Wally: Sporty? Tina: I was going to say healthy. Wally: That's why Olympic pole vaulting is my goal> I wouldn't need a goal to do something easy. Tina: Are you training for it? Wally: No. Tina: You're living in a fantasy world! You'll never get to the Olympics! I can't sit here and listen to this. Dilbert: Looks like you accomplished your goal. Wally: Thanks for noticing.

Brain Scan

Thank you for voting.
Brain Scan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2017's comic on:


Tags #brain, #thinking, #cognition, #personality, #abnormality, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My doctor says my laziness is caused by a brain abnormality. Dilbert: Doesn't everyone in the world have a unique brain that determines what they do? Boss: Is he right about that? Wally: I'd have to see his brain scan. Sounds like a tumor.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #accomplishment, #narcissist, #narcissism, #review, #firing, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #hot peppers, #competition, #burned, #unedible, #face burned, #fire, #group, #face burn, #head, #flame

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper Dilbert: I tried a Habanero pepper last night, It almost burned off my face. Ted: Thats Nothing. I can eat the hottest peppers in the world and not even break a sweat. Dilbert: Im glad you said that, because I have with me the hottest peppers in the world. Ted: Pfft. easy. Gulp. FOOM! Dilbert: Will you admit you were wrong? Ted: You don't see any sweat , do you?

Employees Who Don't Want Money

Thank you for voting.
Employees Who Don't Want Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2018's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #money, #optimism, #ambition

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't want employees who are motivated by money. I want true believers who are trying to make the world a better place. Wally: Those people sound crazy. Dilbert: Can you warn us if you see one?