Less Honest Comic Strips - Page 29

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

335 Results for Less Honest

View 281 - 290 results for less honest comic strips. Discover the best "Less Honest" comics from Dilbert.com.

Asok Applies To Be Wally's Lackey

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Applies To Be Wally's Lackey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assistant, #caffeine, #coffee, #croney, #lackey, #Promotion, #vice president, #upper body strength

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Now that you are a vice president, may I apply to be your lackey? Wally: If I'm being honest, Asok, I need someone with more upper body strength to carry my coffee all day. Asok: Then I said, "A Vice President's coffee can't be that heavy."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #work, #google, #big business, #projects, #ideas, #innovation

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We're borrowing a policy from Google because they are so awesome. You may now use 20% of your workday on your own project ideas. Dilbert: Are you saying we can do 20% less work on our core functions? CEO: No, no. Nothing like that. I'm saying you can work on your own project ideas for 20% of your time. Dilbert: Okay... so... if the 20% doesn't come out of our work hours, where does it come from? Alice: I think he's trying to make us work 20% longer for the same amount of pay. Dilbert; We could just tell people we do it, but not do it. CEO: Same as Google! That's all I'm asking.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #social, #social interaction, #honesty, #politeness, #overshare, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: So, tell me a little about yourself, and be totally honest. Dilbert: Totally honest? Okay... I like technology more than I like people. I don't believe in free will, soulmates, or following my passion. I think life is a brief, meaningless event in a random universe that doesn't care. I only associate with other people because I have biological and economical needs. I think all human actions are driven by selfishness. Woman: Uh... okay. Do you have any questions for me? Dilbert: Am I still being totally honest or should I act curious?

Ceo's Yacht

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo's Yacht - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hypocrisy, #money, #salary, #wages, #net worth, #rich people, #yacht, #obliviousness, #saving, #cost

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We must learn to do more with less. Alice: You own a yacht that has an 18-hole golf course, and a landing strip for your jet, and its own zip code. CEO: I got a good deal on that. Alice: That's what the idiot that buys it form you will say, too.

Robot High Five

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot High Five - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul, #patience, #frustration, #artificial intelligence, #technology, #emotions, #anger

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you notice any changes after Alice gave you an artificial soul? Robot: I'm less tolerant of idiots asking me questions. Boss: High five. Robot: What is wrong with you people???

I Would Never Ask You To Lie

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I Would Never Ask You To Lie - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales personnel, #lying, #sales, #ethics, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Stop being honest when you go on sales calls. Dilbert: You want me to lie? Boss: I would never ask you to lie. I'm asking you to nod your head and smile while our salesperson lies.

Nod At Preset Intervals

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nod At Preset Intervals - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #lie, #collusion, #nonverbal communication, #honest, #sales, #sales personnel, #ethics, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You don't have to lie to customers, but at least nod your head when our salesperson lies. Dilbert: Can I not at preset intervals and let the salesperson time the lies to my nods? Salesman: I can work with that.

Team Interview

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Team Interview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiring, #managers, #interviews, #employment, #honesty, #candor, #warning

View Transcript

Transcript

Team Interview. Dilbert: To be perfectly honest, Bob, you are unqualified to work here. Bob: Your boss already hired me. He told me to talk to you so you'd feel included in the decision. Wait... did I miss a huge red flag? Dilbert: We all did. Welcome to the team.

Charging Client For Thinking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Charging Client For Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #engineers, #time, #worth, #meetings, #billing, #money, #cost

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The client says you billed them for all the time you spent thinking about their project. Dilbert: I'm an engineer. Thinking is what I do. Should I think less? Boss: Maybe you could meet with someone while you think. Dilbert: How's that working right now?

Asok Asks For His Job Back

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Asks For His Job Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #driver, #money, #taxi, #ride share, #rideshare, #disillusionment

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm here to beg for my job back. Driving for Uber was less glamorous than I'd hoped. My mental health and my bladder have been stretched to their limits. Boss: Maybe we could discuss this over a tiled floor area.