Long Nose Comic Strips - Page 29
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434 Results for Long Nose
View 281 - 290 results for long nose comic strips. Discover the best "Long Nose" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 12,
2008
Tags servers, electricity, virtualize, trade journal, software, over shoulder, computer, boss, worker, technology, engineering
Transcript
The Boss: Our servers are using too much electricity. We need to virtualize. I did my part by reading about virtualization in a trade journal. Now you do the software part. Why is your part taking so long?"
Friday May 02,
2008
Tags alternative fuel divison, oil into watwer, uninhabitable wasteland, water into fuel
Transcript
The Boss: Our alternative fuel division has found a way to turn fresh water into fuel! Dilbert: Wouldn't that turn the world into an uninhabitable wasteland in the long run? The Boss: Not if someone finds a way to turn oil into water.
Monday May 05,
2008
Tags count on cooperation, scent of failure, bath, submerged, fix it
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Can I could on your cooperation for the next phase of the project?" Woman says, "No." Woman says, "You emit the musky scent of failure. Women can detect that sort of thing." Dilbert says, "Would a bath fix it?" Woman says, "How long are you willing to stay submerged?"
Friday June 06,
2008
Tags betray ignorance, complicated scle, experience the illusion, technical report
Transcript
Dilbert says, "You won't read my technical report so I summarized it in this complicated slide." Dilbert says, "If you stare at it long enough you will either experience the illusion of understanding it or be too embarrassed to admit you don't." Dilbert says, "Do you have any questions to betray your ignorance?" Someone says, "Is the triangle thing mad at the tube?"
Saturday July 12,
2008
Tags masters degree, business, promoted to management, less useful, 3 years, night classes, rock
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I'm thinking about getting a master's degree in business so I can get promoted to management." Dogbert says, "How long does it take to learn how to be less useful?" Dilbert says, "Three years of night classes." Dogbert says, "Hold still and I'll save you three years."
Saturday August 02,
2008
Tags new cubilces, boss, coworkers, picked one, anything changed
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I've been away from work so long, I wonder if anything has changed." The Boss says, "You weren't here when we moved to new cubicles so your coworkers picked one for you."
Tuesday August 05,
2008
Tags employee wellness programs, save money, hellness program, big picture
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Employee wellness programs save money in the long run, but that does you no good." Dogbert says, "You need a program that can save you money now, when it makes a difference." Dilbert says, "A hellness program? I don't like the sound of that." The Boss says, "Try to see the big picture for once."
Friday August 08,
2008
Tags cooked books, pension fund, 15% per year, crooks, optimists, whistling noise, soul escaping
Transcript
Dogbert says, "I cooked the books by assuming your pension fund will earn 15% per year." Pension Fund 15% Dogbert says, "Technically you aren't crooks, just optimists." Tweet! Mmph! Tweet! Dogbert says, "If you hear a whistling noise, that would be your soul escaping through your nose."
Wednesday August 13,
2008
Tags therapy, addiction, job posting, dung beetlke, epileptic cow, disturbing imagery, couch, shrink, current job, unsatifying, psychology
Transcript
A woman says, "How long have you been addicted to ogling online job postings?" Alice says, "It started when I realized my current job is like a dung beetle trying to mate with an epileptic cow." The woman says, "That imagery is disturbing." Alice says, "I know, right?"
Friday January 08,
2010
Tags informing, admitting, laziness, bragging, shocked
Transcript
Wally says, "We've never worked together so let me tell you how this will go down." Wally says, "You'll expect me to contribute, and you will be disappointed at every turn. In the long run you will do everything yourself." Woman says, "How do you stay employed?" Wally says, "DOn't make me call myself a genius."


