Surpasses Last Remnets Comic Strips - Page 29

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

349 Results for Surpasses Last Remnets

View 281 - 290 results for surpasses last remnets comic strips. Discover the best "Surpasses Last Remnets" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managing, #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: IS the software done yet? Wally: That depends. Do you have any new feature requests? Boss: Only three. Wally: Then it's not done, is it? Boss: Well, no, I guess not. So... when will it be done? Wally: It will be done one week after you give me your last changes. But I believe you taught us that change is good. So either you can be a stagnant bureaucrat or a dynamic leader with lots of changes. It's a question of free will, really. Boss: I have to be somewhere else.

Carol Berates Dilbert For Not Babysitting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Carol Berates Dilbert For Not Babysitting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #babysitter, #children, #supervision, #refugees, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: You said you would watch my kids last night but you never showed up! Dilbert: You didn't give me your address, and you turned off your cellphone for your date night. I'm sure it was fine. Carol: An Elbonian family is living in my cupboard!!!

Asok Remembers Being An Uber Driver

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Remembers Being An Uber Driver - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vomit, #sick, #taxi, #driver, #carpet, #smell, #nausea, #throwing up, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: When you were an Uber driver, did any passengers ever get sick in your car? Asok: They all did. The first few had motion sickness, but the last hundred lost it when they smelled the carpet.

Business Plan History

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Business Plan History - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business plan, #futile, #futility, #goal, #guest artist, #logic, #plan, #john glynn

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Before we make our business plan for the coming year, let's see how well we stayed on plan last year. We ended up doing nothing that was in our plan, just like every year. Dilbert: Why do't' we skip it this year? Boss: It would be irrational to have no plan.

I Own You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I Own You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #work ethic, #communication, #text, #control

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why didn't you answer my text last night? Dilbert: Um... Boss: You have no social life, and you aren't dead, so there's no excuse. I own you! Dilbert: Whoever said honest is refreshing never heard any.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goals, #accomplishment, #consciousness, #death, #achievement, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have any long-term goals? Wally: Just death. Dilbert: Death isn't a goal. Wally: It's the best kind. This way, I can go out as a winner. With my last breath, I plan to do a fist pump and yell, "I did it!" What's your long-term plan? Dilbert: I plan to use brain imaging technology to map my mind. Then I'll create a digital copy of myself to live forever in a software simulation. Unless I already did. Wally: Give yourself a fist pump, just in case.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #financial, #jargon, #money, #accounting, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I think it is important for every employee to understand our company's income statement. I don't have time to get into all of the details, so I'll hit the high points. Compared to last year... our ebida have been amortized over an accrued market discount. Meanwhile, our capital account liabilities have a pass-through income that is far larger than our on-time costs. And the mome raths outgrabe. Too far? Dilbert: I wasn't listening.

Tina Isn't An Engineer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Tina Isn't An Engineer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer, #evaluation, #value, #catch-22, #fired, #termination, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company makes me rank all of my employees. I put you last because you're not an engineer. I have to fire whoever is ranked lowest, and I can't afford to lose any engineers. Tina; What if I work harder, and do a great job? Boss: Then I'd fire you for not being a team player.

New Website Developer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Website Developer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #web, #internet, #site, #development, #code, #time, #deadline, #coding, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our website developer quit one week before the site was scheduled to be finished. But I hired a new one so we can finish on time. Dilbert: Apparently, you have never met a website developer before. Boss: So, you will be done in about a week, right? Developer: It will take me a month just to throw away the last guy's code.

How The File Was Sent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
How The File Was Sent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #communication, #technology, #text, #app, #email

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What's the URL for that site? Boss: I sent that to you last week. Dilbert: To which of my seven email addresses did you send it? Boss: Maybe I texted it to you. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this. Boss: Maybe I used Slack, or WhatsApp. Or I sent it to someone else.