Four Trillion Dollars Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

271 Results for Four Trillion Dollars

View 21 - 30 results for four trillion dollars comic strips. Discover the best "Four Trillion Dollars" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #industrial, #spy, #rumor, #xypon, #newspaper, #secret, #agent, #the boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the Boss and says, "My code name is Dogbert. I'm an industrial spy." The Boss asks, "What makes you think my company needs your services?" Dogbert replies, "It's pretty obvious that you won't survive on your wits alone." Dogbert continues, "There's a rumor that Xypon Inc. is developing a tactical nuclear weapon to use against you." The Boss asks, "What exactly will you do for us?" Dogbert answers, "You give me fifty thousand dollars, then I disappear for a month and do secret spy things." Dogbert continues, "I'll return with information that only a spy or a regular newspaper reader could know." A man at Xypon Inc. asks, "How good are they, Dogbert?" Dogbert pulls a wagon full of money bags. He answers, "They're a bit gullible."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #guide, #movie, #advertising, #thumbs, #nominated, #academy, #award, #stallone, #funniest, #masterpledge, #source, #farm

View Transcript

Transcript

The panel is titled, "Dogbert's Guide to Movie Advertisements." Dogbert says, "Trust me." The advertisement says, "'Thumbs up.' -Gene Siskel." Dogbert says, "Meaning: Roger Ebert hates it." The advertisement says, "'Nominated for an Academy Award.'" Dogbert says, "Notice they don't say for what -- probably 'Best Gaffer.'" The advertisement says, "'Funniest movie of the year.'" Dogbert says, "He saw it in mid-January." The advertisement says, "Four stars . . . A masterpiece!'" Dogbert says, "The movie studio only paid off one critic. Must be a low-budget film." The advertisement says, "'Powerful performances.'" Dogbert says, "It's a downer. Somebody probably gets a disease and loses the farm." The advertisement says, "'I loved it!' -Floyd Belcher, Nosehair Magazine." Dogbert says, "Remember to consider the source." The advertisement says, "Stallone's funniest movie yet." Dogbert says, "I think you get the hang of it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #lenin, #twenty, #bucks, #king, #commies, #available, #stores, #dollars, #wall, #communism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks down the sidewalk and a man standing against a building whispers, "Pssst! Dog! Would you like to purchase Lenin's body?" The man continues, "Twenty bucks. He's in great shape . . . The king of commies . . . Not available in stores." Back at home, Dogbert pushes a man's body against the wall. Dilbert asks, ". . . And you talked him down to ten dollars?" Dogbert asks, "Do you like it better against this wall?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 1992's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #lenin, #body, #museum, #communism

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: Wow! You bought Lenin's body? Dogbert: Only ten dollars. Now I have to decide what to do with it. Ratbert: You could build a museum. Dogbert: I was thinking of using him as a coffee table.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #television, #show, #healing, #dollars, #send, #money, #trick, #hair

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Dogbert, "What did you do to your hair?" Dogbert's hair is styled in a pompadour. Dogbert replies, "It's for my new television show, 'Healing for Dollars.' People send more money if you have this kind of hair." A man and a woman sit on a couch watching Dogbert's tv show. The woman says, "It might be a trick." The man replies, "That's what I thought until I saw his hair." Dogbert says, "Checks or money order."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #healing, #dollars, #psychic, #power, #prevent, #millions, #pimples, #neighbor

View Transcript

Transcript

On his television program, Dogbert stands in front of a curtain and holds a microphone. Dogbert says, "Welcome to my show, 'Healing for Dollars.'" Dogbert continues, "Today I will use my psychic healing power to prevent millions of people from getting pimples on their tongues." A man and a woman sit on a couch sticking their tongues out. As they watch their tongues, the woman says, "Ith working! Get the theckbook!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #happiness, #money, #wrong, #invested, #options, #stock, #company, #desk, #zymed, #takeover, #rumors, #idiots

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Am I wrong or did you tell me you invested all of your money in stock options for a company called Zymed?" Dogbert continues, "The radio says the stock price tripled on takeover rumors. You just made about ten million dollars." Dogbert continues, "But they say money can't buy happiness." Dilbert replies, "Apparently 'they' are idiots."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #jewelry, #secret, #interested, #diamond, #concept, #money, #pebble, #ground, #rare, #very, #restrict, #supply, #bag, #party, #bribe

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in front of a display case in a jewelry store. The salesclerk asks, "Are you interested in our diamond jewelry?" Dogbert says, "Let me see if I understand the concept here . . ." Dogbert says, ". . . I would give you thousands of dollars, and in return . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . You would give me a pebble you found on the ground." The salesman says, "These are no ordinary pebbles. Diamonds are very rare." Dogbert replies, "Rare? That's only because you made a marketing decision to restrict the supply." The clerk scoops some diamonds into a sack and says, "Okay, okay, you figured us out. I'll give you a free bag of diamonds if you'll go away and keep quiet." Dogbert walks on the sidewalk carrying a bag. He says, "Great . . . Now I'm a party to this ugly little secret."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #model, #evaluation, #advantage, #hideous, #service

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to a woman walking on the sidewalk, "Excuse me, would you like to take advantage of our 'Model Evaluation Service?' Only ten dollars." The woman says, "Me? Gosh, I've never thought of myself that way. Yes, I would love to be evaluated." Dogbert says, "You're hideous . . . That's ten dollars." The woman looks angry.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #head, #Dogbert, #spin, #yergi, #elbonia, #elbonians, #visiting, #economy, #earns, #doctor, #year, #pair, #shoes, #philanthropist, #offered, #root, #buy, #man's, #dignity, #Kids, #meat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. He hears, "Ha ha! Now spin on your head! Ha ha ha!" Dilbert walks into the room and sees an Elbonian standing on his head. He asks Dogbert, "What's going on here?" Dogbert replies, "This is Yergi. He's visiting from Elbonia." Dogbert explains, "The economy in Elbonia is so bad he only earns three dollars a month as a doctor." Dogbert continues, "It takes a year to earn enough for a pair of shoes . . . It takes TWO years for a pound of meat." Dogbert continues, "Philanthropist that I am, I offered to give him an old boot if he would act like my trained monkey for a week." Dilbert scolds, "Dogbert! I can't believe you would buy this man's dignity for an old boot!" Yergi says, "I plan to tell the kids it's a pound of meat." Dogbert says, "Quiet, Bobo."