Once In A Lifetime Comic Strips - Page 3

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148 Results for Once In A Lifetime

View 21 - 30 results for once in a lifetime comic strips. Discover the best "Once In A Lifetime" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 1993's comic on:


Tags #cars, #clean, #letters, #express, #outrage, #editor, #Funny, #pages, #sarcasm, #children, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #time

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The caption says, "Their cars are always clean." A man polishes his car with a cloth. The caption says, "They write letters to express their outrage." A man sits at a table with an open newspaper next to him. The man writes, "Dear Editor, The funny pages is no place for sarcasm! Think about the CHILDREN!" The caption says, "They read the same book more than once." Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and laughing. Dogbert says, "They are the people with way too much time on their hands."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #alice, #team, #spirit, #free, #time, #job, #motivate, #bogged, #down, #details

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The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "In order to build team spirit I've decided you should have lunch together once a week." The Boss continues, "I won't be there myself because it would seriously cut into my free time." The Boss continues, "Besides, it's my job to motivate, not get bogged down in the details."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 1993's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #Dilbert, #prejudiced, #curiosity, #insulted, #experience

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert asks, "Is it possible that you're prejudiced against rats because you once had a bad experience with a rat?" Dilbert asks, "Just out of curiosity, what would be a GOOD experience with a rat?" Ratbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "I believe I've been insulted!" Dilbert says, "That was kind of a good experience."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #class, #engineer, #technical, #writing, #reads, #scapegoat, #vacation

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A school teacher says to a classroom of children, "Dilbert has agreed to talk to the class about exciting careers in the field of engineering!" Dilbert says to the students, "There's more to being an engineer than just writing technical memos that nobody reads." Dilbert continues, "Once in a while, somebody reads one. Then you have to find a scapegoat, or use some vacation time and hope it all blows over."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #project, #man

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The Boss says to an employee, "Your new project will have no budget and no management support. Expect to spend most of your time giving status reports." The man's head disappears and he thinks, "Oh no! The life force has been drained out of me! I'm becoming a damp rag!!!" Dilbert looks at the floor and says, "That's amazing." The Boss replies, "It's nothing. I did eighteen at once at the employee empowerment brunch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #Wally, #alice, #communication, #management, #office culture

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The Boss tells Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "What we need is more communication between management and . . . Whatever you are." The Boss continues, "So, once a month I'll have 'open door day.'" The Boss explains, "You can drop by and whine about anything you want." The Boss continues, "I'll listen with a concerned expression like this." The Boss continues, "Then I'll explain why everything is fine just the way it is." The Boss continues, "Then, morale will improve, profits will skyrocket and my stock options will make me RICH!! Dilbert says, "May I make some observations about your plan?" Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Forget it." The Boss asks, "Do you notice how concerned I look?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 1993's comic on:


Tags #executive, #Dogbert, #career

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The caption says, "Dogbert meets the company president." Dogbert sits across from the president's desk. The president says to Dogbert, "You've made quite a name for yourself in the week you've worked here." Dogbert replies, "It was easy to grab power, once I realized the other executives were just imbeciles with good hair." The president says, "I hope you don't think that of ME." Dogbert replies, "No, that looks like a toupee from here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 1993's comic on:


Tags #carol, #job, #satisfaction, #crossbow, #russell, #phone, #chat

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Carol: My job satisfaction has gone way up since I got this crossbow. Hey, Russell! Answer your own phone once in a while! Man: We need to chat. Carol: Chat this.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #brain overload, #experiences perceived, #garbageman, #illusions, #inability to percieve, #paths, #physics, #possibility, #rat can't conceive, #rats, #time and motion

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Ratbert: What is reality, mister garbage man? Garbage man: are you sure you're ready for that, Ratbert? Ratbert: My mind is a blank slate! Garbageman: Okay...time and motion are just illusions created by your inability to perceive everything at once. Everything that is possible as a path you simply choose the path you wish to perceive. Th only things you can't change are the experiences you've already perceived. Ratbert: My head hurts. Garbageman: The contents of a garbage can are determined by what path I choose to perceive, not by what somebody else chose to discard. Ratbert: Brain overload! Hey theres a new VCR in here! Garbageman: Cmon, Im expecting some great videos in the Obriens can.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dog collar, #keep track, #employee slaves, #final humiliation, #cubicles, #gerbils, #rationalization, #mechanisms, #collar, #6 foot extension cord, #dog, #adapting, #animals

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The Boss: "Here's your employee locator device." "Sensors in the building will be able to track you at all times." "We'll know how many times you use the restroom and how long." "It's a dog collar...the final humiliation." "Once you got used to working in cubicles like gerbils, we knew anything was possible." "My conformance rationalization mechanisms are kicking in." "It's not so bad. A collar is simply an efficient design. Everyone is doing it." "It's not so bad." "It's powered by this six foot long extension cord."