Search Results for "double efficiency"
Share April 03, 2001's comic on:
Looking at a piece of paper, Dilbert asks The Boss, "Which assignment is the highest priority?" Dilbert asks The Boss, "Is it the totally worthless one or the other totally worthless one?" Dilbert says, "I hope I'm empowered to make that decision." The Boss says, "Hope is a double-edged sword."
Share August 15, 2001's comic on:
Dogbert is standing on The Boss' desk. He says, "I can analyze your employees' handwriting to find out who might steal." The Boss replies, "Has handwriting analysis been tested in double-blind scientific studies?" Dogbert responds, "Yes, but the scientists dotted their I's with smiley faces so I know they're liars." The Boss exclaims, "Wow!"
Share September 14, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert is reading a contract while meeting with a business associate. Dilbert says, "We've negotiated this contract for six weeks and today you double your delivery time?" Dilbert continues, "I can't tell if you're an incredibly devious weasel or simply incompetent." The business associate begins to pull on his own nose and says, "Here's a clue." The business associate pulls of his nose to reveal a weasel's nose underneath. It makes the sound, "poink."
Share May 17, 2002's comic on:
Headline: The CEO Visit. The Boss says to the CEO, "And now Dilbert and Alice will give you a presentation." The CEO responds, "I'm curious to hear why that requires two people." Dilbert and Alice simultaneously point to the same slide. Alice says, "Our department made impressive improvements in..." Dilbert finishes her sentence, "Efficiency!"
Share May 27, 2002's comic on:
The Boss says to Alice and Dilbert, "Let's ping the director of marketing and double-click on the budget." The Boss continues, "Then we can interface in batch mode and put a scope on his bandwidth." Alice cringes and exclaims, "Please stop doing that!" The Boss adds, "Have I mentioned that I was an engineer for a week?"
Share June 08, 2002's comic on:
Mordac says to Alice, "I am Mordac The Preventor of Information Services. You have exceeded your server storage limit." Alice hands Mordac a quarter and says, "Here's 25 cents so you can afford to double my storage space." Mordac walks away, looks at the quarter in his hand, and thinks, "I think my mystique just took a hit."
Share September 26, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert and his mom are in the kitchen. Dilbert's mom is cooking dinner. She says, "Norma's son finished three projects last year. You only did one." Dilbert's mom continues, "His cubicle is a double-wide. And his CEO once said hi to him in the elevator." Dilbert's mom concludes, "Thanks to you, my 'scrabble' night is a living hell." Dilbert asks, "Do you still use counterfeit vowels?"
Share April 09, 2003's comic on:
Dogbert stands on The Boss' desk and says, "You need a body double. They're popular with your most successful despots." Dogbert continues, "If someone tries to ambush you into making a decision, the double will take the hit." The Boss approaches Asok with a pointy-haired hat in his hands and says, "I want you to think of this as your own personal dress code."
Share April 10, 2003's comic on:
Asok is wearing a mask and pointy-haired hat. The Boss says, "Asok, as my new body double, your job is to walk into ambushes." The Boss continues, "If someone tries to trap you into being helpful, do what I would do." Asok asks, "What would you do?" The Boss replies, "I'd get a body double."
Share August 26, 2004's comic on:
The Boss: "I removed all the chairs to encourage more efficient meetings." "The first item on the agenda is... Ow, ow! Legs so tired... Meeting adjourned!!!" Wally: "I always wondered what efficiency looked like."