Search Results for "goat costume"
Share October 31, 2012's comic on:
Dilbert: You both assured me that everyone would be wearing a costume to work today. I spent hours putting together my costume as an angry cat in lederhosen! I hate you both! Wally: Should we tell him? Alice: It's funnier if we don't.
Share December 30, 2012's comic on:
Dogbert: I finished ghostwriting your autobiography. CEO: "I was ridiculously lucky. The End." I was hoping you'd include something about all of my hard work. Dogbert: You didn't work any harder than your gardener, and he lives in his truck. CEO: What about my vision and intuition? Dogbert: My first draft had a chapter on your hallucinations and magical thinking. But I covered that ground with the title: "I'm A Delusional Sociopath And You Can Too." CEO: I'm starting to regret paying you in advance.
Share June 12, 2008's comic on:
Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: "Let's try a mock interview to see how you respond under pressure. Are you a stinking weasel trying to pass as human?!!!" Weasel: What gave it away? Dogbert: "Honestly, it was a lucky guess."
Share December 20, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert the scapegoat The Boss says, "I need you for a meeting with my boss." The Boss says, "About five minutes, into the meeting I'm going to start punching you. With any luck, my boss will join in." Dilbert says, "Maybe that shouldn?t be called luck." The Boss says, "Okay...Skill. Whatever."
Share December 22, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "I didn't have time to change out of my work clothes." Dilbert says, "I'm working as a scapegoat for my department. Someday I hope to be a scapegoat for the entire company." Dilbert says, "You told me women like men in uniform." Dogbert says, "I say things."
Share June 25, 2009's comic on:
Income Tax Auditor Man says, "You claim your company is exempt from taxes because you're incorporated in?heaven?" Dogbert says, "Exactly." Man says, "I'm not allowed to question that claim because of the seperation between church and state." Wally says, "I am the angel Wally!" DOgbert says, "Hold on, Wally. We're selling past the close."
Share October 21, 2009's comic on:
Dogbert the CEO Man says, "Consumer confidence is up, and that means more people will buy our products." Dogbert says, "I'm off to make random management changes so I can take credit for the improved economy." Dilbert says, "It's working?" The Boss says, "Sales are up!"
Share May 03, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Sorry I'm late. A truck turned over on the highway. What did I miss?" Man says, "We don't want to rehash the entire meeting." Dilbert says, "How about a quick summary?" Man says, "No, if we leave out any details, you'll think we made the wrong decision." Man says, "It's best for us if we keep you ignorant and angry." Dilbert says, "IF you marginalize me, I will become a nemesis to your project!" Man says, "I'm cool with that." Man says, "Sort of like a mascot?" Dilbert says, "A nemesis is not like a mascot!" Man says, "Maybe you could wear a giant squirrel costume."