Thoughtful Broken Comic Strips - Page 3

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56 Results for Thoughtful Broken

View 21 - 30 results for thoughtful broken comic strips. Discover the best "Thoughtful Broken" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2008's comic on:


Tags #seminar, #teach, #make millions, #scam, #seminar name, #crush hopes, #dreams, #bitter and broken, #nominal fee, #invest, #100 to one million

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Asok says, "I'm going to a seminar that will teach me how to make a million dollars!" Alice says, "It's a scam." Asok says, "How could you know that?" Asok says, "I haven't even told you the name of the seminar!" Asok says, "You can't be sure it is a scam if you know none of the details." Asok says, "You just want to crush my hopes so I become like you." Asok says, "But it won't work because I have dreams! I won't be a bitter and broken cynic like you two!" Asok says, "I'll have the last laugh after I pay my nominal fee and learn how to 'Turn a Hundred Dollars Into a Million.'" Dogbert says, "invest $100 at 5% interest and wait 190 years. Thanks for coming."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #buzzing of flies, #channel irrational impulse, #coffe machine broken, #confusion, #ignoring, #intern, #nervousness, #talking, #thirst for coffeee, #vp of engineering

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Asok thinks, "It's our vice president of engineering." Asok says, "Hello. I am Asok the intern, may I tell you about an idea I have?" Wally says, "Vice presidents can't hear us, Asok. To them, our voices sound like the faint buzzing of flies." Wally says, "If you want to give him your idea you have to do it indirectly." Wally says, "Tell someone who knows someone, who know's someone else, who knows the vice president." Wally says, "Or do what I do and channel your irrational impulse to be useful into an unquenchable thirst for coffee." Asok says, "So...What are you helping me?" Wally says, "The coffee machine is broken."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2006's comic on:


Tags #broken chair, #extra one, #guest chair, #unstable, #broken chairs, #upside down

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"My chair is broken. May I use your extra one?" "I don't have an extra chair." "Sure you do. It's right there." "That's not an extra chair. It's my guest chair." "Okay, whatever. The point is that the base broke off of my chair." "I can't sit on a chair that has no wheel base. It's unstable." "Stop being a baby. Just turn your chair upside-down and it will be totally stable." "When did your chair break?" "Last spring. You get used to it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2013's comic on:


Tags #death & dying, #negotiating, #work ethic, #raise, #workload, #incentive, #work harder, #disgruntled, #no meaning, #dreams lie broken

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Boss: If you finish your project in twelve months, I'll give you a five percent raise. Dilbert: I would gladly give up five percent of my future pay to avoid a doubling of my workload. Boss: You don't understand. I'm giving you an incentive to work harder. Dilbert: No, I'm pretty sure you're charging me five percent of my future pay to sit here and feel disgruntled. And it's working. I hate you more than ever and I no longer find meaning in my work My dreams lie broken and empty beneath the ruins of my optimism. Boss: I can't tell if your negotiating or dying. Dilbert: It's a little of both.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2014's comic on:


Tags #public speaking, #slides tell a story, #status of project, #clown, #broken watch, #eagle, #technology, #old shoe, #storm drain, #pie chart, #dcitionary, #images, #offcie, #cubicle

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Boss: Experts say your slides should tell a story in pictures. Start with an image that captures the status of your project. Dilbert: How about this image of a clown with a broken watch? Boss: I was thinking eagle. Dilbert: Fine. Eagle. Boss: Now find an image that shows our technology strategy. Dilbert: How about this image of an old show in a storm drain? Boss: I was thinking pie chart. Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Now for the words. Dilbert: How about this image of a dictionary?

Device Can Read Minds

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Device Can Read Minds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2018's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #device, #read, #thoughts, #turn, #computer, #commands, #theories, #engineer, #engineering, #invention, #nothing, #broken

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Dilbert: I invented a device that can read your thoughts and turn them into computer commands. The Boss: Nothing is happening. Is it broken? Dilbert: That's one of my top two theories.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #machinery, #tech support, #digital modem, #wiring, #problem, #plumbing, #supervisor

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Dogbert: This is Dogbert's tech support. How many I abuse you? Boss: I think my digital modem is broken. Dogbert: Please hold while I pretend to be testing it. Okay, it looks fine from here. The problem must be in your wiring. You'll have to rip out all of the wiring in your entire house to locate the problem. Boss: Are you sure? Because the lights on the modem aren't even on. Dogbert: That means you have moisture on your internal wiring. You'll also need to replace all of your plumbing and get a new roof. Boss: May I speak with your supervisor? Dogbert: Sure. But he sounds exactly like me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 1989's comic on:


Tags #crimes, #letter, #mail, #illegal

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I got a chain letter." Dogbert says, "Those are illegal." Dilbert says, "I've never broken a law in my whole life, but I'm tempted to try this." Dogbert says, "One suggestion." Dogbert continues, "Maybe for your first crime you shouldn't put your name and address on it and distribute it to ten thousand strangers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #ruler, #argument, #flaw

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Dilbert sits at his desk holding up a broken ruler. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Dogbert, do you know what happened to my good ruler?" Dogbert answers, "Rulers are made to be broken." Dilbert stares at Dogbert. Dilbert turns back to the desk and says, "I just KNOW there is some flaw in that argument . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #plant, #suicide, #note

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Dilbert kneels on the floor looking at a plant in a broken pot. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "It's weird . . . I was just talking to it like I ususally do and it fell off the desk . . ." Dogbert asks, "What's this little piece of paper?" Dogbert reads, "I couldn't take it anymore . . ."