Windows 95 Comic Strips - Page 3

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26 Results for Windows 95

View 21 - 26 results for windows 95 comic strips. Discover the best "Windows 95" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2003's comic on:


Tags #audio lessons, #hundred million, #showing up, #performing ceo, #be the person, #buy audio lessons

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Dogbert: Would you like to make a hundred million dollars for just showing up at work? Dogbert: My audio lessons teach you how to become an underperforming CEO. $19.95 Step One: become A CEO> Step Two: Be the sort who would buy these audio lessons.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 1999's comic on:


Tags #newly designated, #fire warden, #bitter, #assignment, #regular job, #last one out, #safety, #fire, #panic, #flushing self, #exit door

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Wally is standing at a large pad with the word "SAFETY" on it, heading a meeting. Wally says, "I'm the newly designated fire warden for this floor." Wally continues, "You might expect me to be bitter about this assignment." ..."Granted, it tells the world I wasn't productive at my regular job." The group looks on as Wally continues, "And if the building burns, I'm expected to be the last one out." Turning over the page on the pad saying, "But my only concern is your safety. The large pad now reveals a sketch of three little stick figures running with the word "AAAGH!" above them. Wally explains, "In the event of a fire, don't be too proud to panic." The next page is a sketch of a stick figure, flying head first, into a toilet. Wally says, "If the windows won't open, try flushing yourself to safety. ..."And never, ever get between me and the exit door." The boss interrupts, "Wally..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2006's comic on:


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"This week I tried to work, but pop-up messages kept telling me to update my computer's software." "I tried closing the pop-up windows, but they just kept coming back. There were too many of them!" "Did you upgrade your software?" "Great. I see whose side you're on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2010's comic on:


Tags #website, #revamp, #launch, #technology, #crash, #success, #failure

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Dilbert says, "We launched our revamped website today." Dilbert says, "All of the technology we used is already obsolete and every vendor we hired is out of business." Dilbert says, "?And it just crashed." Dilbert says, "I miss the days when we had brief windows of success."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2014's comic on:


Tags #ceos, #leadership, #obliviousness, #public speaking, #media, #zero sales, #staff resigned, #fireing, #wisdom, #Entertainment

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Catbert: Our sales dropped to zero because you told the media we have a better product coming soon. And 95% of the staff resigned because you announced plans to fire 50% of them. Maybe it would be better if you never spoke to anyone again. CEO: How would people get my wisdom.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #computers, #customer service, #frustration, #installing drivers, #software, #tech support, #technical support, #technology, #engineering

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Dogbert's Tech Support. Dilbert: The error message says my copy of Windows is not genuine. Dogbert" I'll walk you through a series of steps that won't work. Dilbert: Wait... what? Dogbert: After seventeen attempts that involve rebooting, you will lose hope. At some point you will give up and buy a new computer just to be done with it all. We'll start by uninstalling all of your drivers and reinstalling. Dilbert: Can I skip all of the useless steps and just buy a new computer? Dogbert: Sure, but you don't need to be a jerk about it.