At Odds With Words Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for at odds with words comic strips. Discover the best "At Odds With Words" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hold press conference, introduce cold fusion, breakthrough, lightbulb, wires plugged, low opinion, jar with frosted glass, overkill

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Dogbert says, "I'm ready to hold a press conference to introduce my cold fusion breakthrough." Dilbert says, "All you did is put a lightbulb in a jar. I can see the wires plugged into the outlet." Dilbert says, "You have a low opinion of people." Dogbert says, "I considered using a jar with frosted glass, but it seemed like overkill."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags created cold fusion, jar with light bulb, more news, camera guy

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Press Conference Dogbert says, "As you can clearly see, I have created cold fusion." Man says, "That's not cold fusion. It's just a jar with a lightbulb." Dogbert says, "Here's some more news: No one cares what the camera guy thinks." Woman says, "It's free energy!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fraternization, internet & world wide web, friends with ghoats, real freinds, imaginary ones, idea is ridiculous, ridiculous idea, facebook freinds

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Dogbert: You need to create a product that gives people the illusion of being friends with ghosts. Boss: People only want real friends, not imaginary ones. Your idea is ridiculous. Dogbert: How many friends do you have on Facebook? Boss: Seven hundred. Why?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, fraternization, friends with ghots, ghandi, ghost personal page, ghosts, heaven, internet & world wide web, llincoln, satellite pictures, social media, social network, technology

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Dogbert: Our new product will be a social network for people who want to be friends with ghosts. We'll post satellite pictures on each ghost's personal page and say the photos were taken from heaven. Man: Abraham Lincoln posted new pictures. Woman: I'm chatting with Gandhi! Later.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, language, no longer undertsnd, employees, to of touch, technology, gravitons, warp drive, rebalanced, subspace responders, business

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Boss: I no longer understand anything my employees say. I must be so out of touch with technology that I don't even recognize the words. Wally: I flushed the gravitons out of the warp drive and rebalanced the subspace responders.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fear, terrorists, viruses, elbonian kidnappers, refused ransom pay, stockholm syndrome, identifying with captors, beating up, contagious

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Asok says, "I thought my Elbonian kidnappers would hold me forever because you refused to pay the ransom." Asok says, "Then the Stockholm effect kicked in. I started identifying with my captors and beating myself." The Boss says, "And they let you go?" Asok says, "Apparently it looked contagious."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, inventions, dead end job, developing an app, spare time, lottery ticket, odds of success, relationships

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Dilbert says, "It might look as if I'm in a dead-end job, but I'm developing an app in my spare time." Woman says, "Here's a lottery ticket. I just doubled your odds of success." Woman says, "I bought two for myself so I don't need to make an app."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags charge customers, free features, customers, abusive realtionship, move in direction, put up with

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Boss: We've decided to charge customers for features they currently get for free. Dilbert: Um... Have you considered how our customers might react? Boss: Obviously. Wally: I'd like to hear how that reasoning process went. Boss: Fine. Customers love us and they will put up with anything we dish out. Wally: So... It's sort of an abusive relationship? Boss: Not yet, but we're trying to move in that direction.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confusing, multiple pages, public speaking, real words, small text, unpersuasive, computer, desk, no one can read, technology

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Dilbert: Do you want me to put the chart on one page, which would make the text too small for you to see? Or do you prefer a multiple-page approach that is confusing and unpersuasive? Boss: It's probably better if no one can read it. Dilbert: I won't bother using real words.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, Dogbert, chainsaw, weasel, prune, computer, skipper

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Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer and Dogbert sits next to him. Dilbert says, "My computer has determined the funniest words in the world . . ." Dilbert continues, "They include: chainsaw, weasel, prune and any reference to 'Gilligan's Island.' Now I can make my own jokes!" Dilbert says to Dogbert, ". . . So then the skipper gets attacked by this prune-eating weasel with a chainsaw . . ." Dogbert laughs.