Attendece Problem Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

391 Results for Attendece Problem

View 21 - 30 results for attendece problem comic strips. Discover the best "Attendece Problem" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the problem, #under staffed, #six weeks, #behind, #the analysis, #add people, #the result, #daily stats reports, #situation

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption reads, "The problem . . ." Dilbert enters looking frazzled and says to the Boss, "We're so under-staffed that the project is six weeks behind schedule." The caption reads, "The analysis . . ." The Boss looks pensive and thinks, "I can't add people . . . I can't change the due date . . . I can't ignore it." The caption reads, "The result . . ." Dilbert says to Wally and Alice, "He wants daily status reports until the situation improves." All three look overworked and disheveled.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice sits boss, #approve expense voucher, #creature, #eats snacks, #security guard, #problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of Alice's desk. Alice has a crown on her head and is holding a document in her hand. She says, "I will approve your expense voucher on one condition." Alice continues, "You must slay the creature who stalks the office at night and eats our hidden snacks." Dilbert holds a baseball bat in one hand and opens a drawer with the other. A mouse peers out of the drawer. Dilbert says to him, "It has to be either you or the security guard." The mouse answers, "Slay him first and see if the problem stops."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #meeting, #copy, #agenda, #wrong, #awkward, #leave, #casually, #problem, #economy, #deeper, #interest, #rates, #cover, #dark

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert enters a conference room and asks, "Is this the meeting?" People at the table mumble a response. Dilbert says, "Good." A man says, "Everybody take a copy of the agenda." Dilbert reads the agenda and thinks, "I'm in the wrong meeting . . . Now it's too awkward to leave." Dilbert thinks, "I'll casually stretch my arms, flick the lights off and escape under cover of dark." Dilbert turns the light off. Several people say, "Ouch!" Five people lie on top of each other in the doorway. The man says, "Oh, sorry, wrong agenda." Dilbert arrives at home wearing tattered clothing. He tells Dogbert, "I'm starting to think that the problem with our economy is deeper than high interest rates."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biggest problem, #databases, #dwell on negative, #network, #probelm, #tracking database

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I just got our consultant's report. He's identified our biggest problem." Wally says, "I recommend that we build a tracking database." Dilbert adds, "We can put it on the network." The Boss asks, "Would you like to hear what the problem is first?" Wally says, "I hate to dwell on the negative." Dilbert adds, "We like databases."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee satisfaction survey, #department dismal, #assigning satisfaction, #task force, #problem solved

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "The results of the employee satisfaction survey are in. Scores for my department are dismal." The Boss continues, "I'm assigning you to the satisfaction task force until the problem is solved." Dilbert and Alice look upset. Dilbert says, "Please . . . Anything but that . . ." The Boss asks, "How satisfied are you NOW?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #very annoying, #see therpaist, #emotional problem, #misinterprets speech

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert sits on top of Dilbert's monitor and says, "I've become one of those people who misinterprets everything you say." Dilbert asks, "Why?" Ratbert says, "Why? Are you saying that nothing should ever change? Maybe you shouldn't be so rigid." Dilbert says, "This could be very annoying." Ratbert replies, "Maybe you should see a therapist for your emotional problem."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #team building exercise, #build trust, #trust, #not biggest problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, the Boss and Wally, "This exercise will build trust. The partner in front will fall. The partner behind will break the fall." The Boss falls backward toward Dilbert. The Boss falls to the floor. Dogbert says, "Okay, maybe trust isn't your biggest problem here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cobol programmer, #millenium problem, #dinosaur

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "We need COBOL programmers for our mainframe millenium problem." The Boss says, "If you see anyone that looks like a COBOL programmer, let me know." Dilbert says, "Turn around." Bob the dinosaur is walking around the corner. The Boss says to Bob, "Are you a COBOL programmer?" Bob says, "No, but I'm often told I look like one." The Boss says, "You're hired."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #woman paid 75 cents, #every dollar men, #highest paid engineer, #average woman, #problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina the tech writer says, "I just read that the average woman is paid 75 cents for every dollar that men make. It's an outrage!" Alice sits at her computer and grimaces. Alice says, "I'm the highest paid engineer in the company." Tina looks comfused and says, "That's impossible. The article says, 'Average women' earn less." Alice says, "Suddenly, the problem comes into focus."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drug treatment program, #drug problem, #childproof container

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, and The Boss sitting at table. While holding a document, The Boss says, "No one in my division is using the company drug treatment program. This is very embarassing." The Boss continues, "My boss will think I'm not managing the drug problem. Don't ANY of you have a drug problem?" Alice, sitting next to Dilbert and Wally, struggles to open a pill container. She exclaims in a frustrated manner, "#!*% Childproof 'Midol' container!!"