Average Call Comic Strips - Page 3
509 Results for Average Call
View 21 - 30 results for average call comic strips. Discover the best "Average Call" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 28, 1997's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally says, "It's time now for the Wally Report, a weekly status update." Wally continues, "My income is 80 percent of industry average, enthusiasm is at 63 percent of capacity and my ego shield is holding at 15 percent." Dilbert says, "Your enthusiasm is up from last week." Wally says, "Someone left the supply cabinet unlocked!"
Share July 05, 1997's comic on:
Bob the dinosaur sits at a conference table with Ratbert and Dogbert.There are telephones on the table. Dogbert says, "You two will be my telemarketers. Here's a list of known idiots to call." Ratbert takes the list and picks up the phone. "I'll go first, Bob. Let's see... I dial the number and wait for an idiot to answer..." Bob's phone rings while he stares at it. Oblivious, Ratbert says, "C'mon, you loser, pick up the phone."
Share March 14, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert is walking by the Boss's office. He hears the Boss say, "I'll call you back in one hour, Irene." The Boss says, "You're in a different time zone, so you'll get the call in... um... three hours." Dilbert stops to listen. The Boss's eyes bug out in confusion and he says, "Really? You're three hours ahead? Then that means... whoa!.. you're freaking me out here!"
Share March 16, 1998's comic on:
Tina the tech writer says, "I just read that the average woman is paid 75 cents for every dollar that men make. It's an outrage!" Alice sits at her computer and grimaces. Alice says, "I'm the highest paid engineer in the company." Tina looks comfused and says, "That's impossible. The article says, 'Average women' earn less." Alice says, "Suddenly, the problem comes into focus."
Share June 19, 1998's comic on:
Alice peaks into Dilbert's cube while he is sitting at his computer terrminal and says, "I just heard that all our top executives got locked in a conference room and starved to death." Dilbert replies, "Why didn't they use the phone to call for help?" Caption: One week ago... Three executives sitting at a table staring at a phone. One, while holding a piece of paper, says, "It's agreed: We dial 83 to get an outside line." Another executive says, "Uh-oh. This one doesn't do decimals."
Share December 10, 1995's comic on:
A bald man says into the telephone, "Hello, is this the 'Help Desk'?" Dogbert wears a headset and sits at a computer. He replies, "No, that group got reengineered out of existence." Dogbert continues, "I'm the new 'No Help Whatsoever Desk.' My job is to make sure you never call again." The man asks, "Can you tell me how to make a pie chart?" Dogbert replies, "Crush your computer into small chunks, add flour and bake one hour." Dogbert continues, "While you're waiting, read the free novel we sent you. It's a Spanish story about a guy named 'Manual.'" Dogbert continues, "Repeat the process until you get the desired result." The man sits next to an oven reading an instruction manual. He thinks, "This lost a LOT in the translation."
Share January 19, 1997's comic on:
The caption says, "Office obstacle course." Dilbert walks down the hall. He sees another man and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's Phil. I never returned his call. Walk faster." Dilbert runs into the elevator as the doors close. He thinks, "Yes!!" Dilbert peers around a corner and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's an unpleasant co-worker who wants to be my friend." Dilbert walks behind Wally and a woman and thinks, "The clever engineer blends with the herd to avoid detection." Dilbert stands by Alice's desk and thinks, "Uh-oh, I owe Alice some information." Alice's phone rings. As Alice answers the phone, Dilbert runs by her desk and thinks, "Yes!!" Dilbert looks behind him and thinks, "There's only one more obstacle between me and blissful productivity." The Boss comes around the corner. Dilbert runs into the Boss and shouts, "My whole day is ruined!!!" The Boss says, "It looks like you need a one-on-one coaching session."
Share October 12, 1997's comic on:
At the staff meeting, The Boss pokes his head in and says, "I have to make a quick phone call." Dilbert says, "Do you want to make small talk?" Wally says, "No." Wally says, "I brought a magazine." Dilbert asks,"Could you tear out a few pages for me to read?" Wally says, "That wouldn't be right." Dilbert says, "Give me some pages or else I'll ask Alice about panty hose." Dilbert says, "You wouldn't dare." Dilbert says, "So, Alice, what do you think about the concept of panty hose?" Alice screams, "Aaargh!! What moron invented leg covers that can be destroyed by touching a twig?!" Wally tears some pages out from his magazine and offers them to Dilbert saying, "Make it stop!" Dilbert says, "Too late." Alice puts her legs up on the table and says, "Look at this!!!"
Share January 22, 1999's comic on:
Man points to an overhead projection of a graph. He says, "Our profits were good until a manager.." The boss sits, looking suprised, between two mad peers. The man with the overhead says, "...used his credit card to make a 900 call from an airplane phone." The boss says, "Hey, I'm allowed to call my wife when I'm traveling!"
Share March 12, 1999's comic on:
The boss sits in meeting next to Dogbert who is dressed in a turban. The boss says, "My atrologer tells me that someone here is plotting to rip me off." Asok says, "How much is your atrologer charging you?" The boss says, "Are you plotting to rip me off?" Dogbert says, "I prefer to call it hourly billing."