Daily Water Waster Comic Strips - Page 3

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122 Results for Daily Water Waster

View 21 - 30 results for daily water waster comic strips. Discover the best "Daily Water Waster" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 1995's comic on:


Tags #divide check, #engineers, #unpopular subsidy, #water, #13%, #tip amount, #questionable

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Dilbert, Wally and another man sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert looks at the check and says, "We could simply divide the check by three . . ." The waitress thinks, "Uh-oh. Engineers." Dilbert continues, "But that would result in an unpopular subsidy of Wally's salmon. Does anybody have a calculator-watch?" The caption says, "Hours later." The other engineer says to the waitress as she approaches the table with a pitcher, "This is the tie-breaker round of water to decide if you get 13% or 13.5%." The waitress growls, "RRRR."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #physical, #manifestatioin, #ego, #worship, #female, #sparkling water

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Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert and this is the physical manifestation of my ego. Dilbert's Ego: Worship me, female!! Dilbert: That's why I only feed it sparkling water.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 1996's comic on:


Tags #ask applicants sone questions, #see how think, #five gallon, #bucket, #holds water, #job interview

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Dilbert sits at a table with a man. Dilbert says, "We like to ask our applicants some questions that will allow us to see how you think." Dilbert asks, "If you have a five-gallon bucket and a fifty-gallon bucket, how can you tell which one holds more water?" The man beats his head with his fists and says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" Dilbert says, "When I said, 'See how you think,' what I meant was . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 1997's comic on:


Tags #stupid people, #insulted, #formed mob, #take abuse, #survive, #water, #drink water, #portesters, #signs

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Dilbert and Dogbert look out the window. Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. All of the stupid people you've insulted have formed a mob and surrounded our house." The in-duh-viduals hold signs that say, "Down with Dogbert." One says to another, "We don't have to take this abuse.. let's see how long he can survivce without water!" Dilbert says, "They're taking turns putting our hose in their mouths. I think they're trying to drink all of our water."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1997's comic on:


Tags #mob, #stupid people, #attack dogbert, #drink hose water, #isn't working, #grass, #attack, #ruin our lawn, #spraying water, #hose fight

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CAption: A mob of stupid people attack Dogbert's house. One in-duh-vidual says, "Our plan to drink all of his hose water isn't working." Another in-duh-vidual has a garden hose in his mouth and looks as if he is about to burst. The first in-duh-vidual says, "Hey, careful! You're getting water all over the grass..." Another person says, "Wait, that gives me an idea!" Dilbert reads the newspaper. "How's the attack going?" Dogbert replies, "They tried to ruin our lawn by spraying water on it. But now it's turned into a hose fight."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 1997's comic on:


Tags #role model, #using deception, #time management, #wally is dead, #daily planning session, #ideal role model

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Asok looks into Wally's cubicle. Wally says into the phone, "Wally is dead. Sorry." Asok thinks, "My role model is using deception to improve his time management." Wally leans back in his chair and sleeps. Asok looks over the cubicle wall and says, "And now the daily planning session." Alice says to Asok, "Asok, I don't think you've picked an ideal role model." Asok leans back in his chair and says, "Asok is dead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 1998's comic on:


Tags #underfunded porject, #resources, #intern, #sponge bath, #water fountain, #employees, #budget diffrences, #business

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Rag Man thinks, "I hate being on an underfunded project." Alice walks by with some guy. Rag Man asks, "Can you spare some resources, lady? How about that intern? Are you using him?" Rag Man shows intern, "First you have to learn how to give yourself a sponge bath at the water fountain."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #special, #washing, #instructions, #fold, #garment, #star, #cotton, #swathes, #launder, #glacier, #water, #detergent, #glandular, #australian, #nik-nik, #bug, #alive, #delicate, #quick

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Dilbert carries a load of dirty clothes to the washing machine. Dilbert looks at the label on a shirt collar. He reads, "Special washing instructions." Dilbert reads, "Fold the garment in a five-point star and wrap in cotton swathes . . ." Dilbert reads, "Launder only in pure glacier water heated to 98 degrees . . ." Dilbert reads, "For detergent, use only the glandular secretion of the Australian nik-nik bug . . ." Dilbert reads, "In fact, I'm so delicate that you're hurting me right now. Ouch! Ouch! Let me go! Help!" Dilbert stuffs the shirt into the machine." Dilbert says, "The best I can do is to make it quick." A scream comes from the machine.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 1998's comic on:


Tags #work too hard, #stressed out, #bored, #sumerging, #head in icy water, #list of compalints, #evil catbert

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Alice stands in front of Catbert. Alice says, "If I work too hard, I get stressed out. But if I don't work hard, I get bored." Catbert says, "I recommend submerging your head in icy water twice a day." Alice says, "Wouldn't that hurt?" Catbert says, "Is there no end to your list of complaints?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 1994's comic on:


Tags #body language, #politely tell, #remove watch, #smash watch, #daily planner, #feel good, #act bored, #self heimlich manuever, #kerokian dodge, #instructions

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"Dogbert's Body Language Update" "Are you hampered by the limits of conventional body language?" "I can help." - How can you politely tell somebody he's babbling? "Babble, Babble." - Remove the offender's watch while he babbles.- "Babble." - Smash the watch with your daily planner. - "Babble." "Whack!" - This won't stop the babble, but it will feel real good for a minute.- "Babble." "Mmm." - Use this position to signal your surrender to the babble.- "Babble." -Next week - the self-Heimlich manuever and the Kervorkian dodge.- "Babble."