Give Her A Raise Comic Strips - Page 3
777 Results for Give Her A Raise
View 21 - 30 results for give her a raise comic strips. Discover the best "Give Her A Raise" comics from Dilbert.com.
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Wally says, "Health problems and absenteeism are a huge cost to this business." The Boss says, "So?" Wally says, "So give me a raise, or I'll eat unhealthy food and avoid all forms of exercise." The Boss says, "You already do those things." Wally says, "How could you possibly know that?"
Share September 02, 2008's comic on:
The Boss says, "Alice, there's no budget to give you a raise, but I'll give you something that is just as good." The Boss says, "I promise that if you quit on me I will give you a bad reference and you will never work again." Alice says, "How is that just as good as a raise?" The Boss says, "Try to see it from my point of view."
Share May 18, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "If you help bring in a new account, I'll give you a raise, unless there's no money in the budget then for raises." Alice says, "Please don't say what I think you're going to say next." The Boss says, "It's better than nothing." Alice says, "No it isn't!"
Share May 11, 2009's comic on:
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally says, "According to the news, everyone in power is corrupt." Catbert says, "So?" Wally says, "If you give me a 20% raise, I'll kick back half to you." Catbert says, "Done." Dilbert says, "How did you afford a new vest in this economy? Crime?" Wally says, "I'm dabbling."
Share May 18, 2008's comic on:
The Boss: Alice, I can't give you the maximum raise because you don't respect other people's differences. Alice says, Why are you discriminating against me for my intolerance? If I am intolerant for some genetic reason, then I can't help it. Alice says, "And if I'm intolerant because I can't learn to be otherwise, then obviously I have a learning problem. Alice says, "Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not acceptable for me to notice it? You need to start appreciating me for my intolerance! Alice says, And while I'm at it, allow my to mention that a monkeys seat cushion has better views than what I'm looking at right now. The Boss says, "I'm not quite sure where to go with this." Alice says, "Ooh! Oooh! I have a suggestion."
Share December 16, 2007's comic on:
"The Boss: I can't give you the highest raise because you didn't exceed expectations." Dilbert: "If you thought it was possible for me to exceed my expectations, you would have set the goals higher." "So there are only two possibilities here." "Either you are incompetent at setting goals..." "Or I attained the maximum possible achievement and I deserve the maximum raise." "Which is it?" The Boss: "Can I hear those two choices again?"
Share December 28, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: "Alice, I got your two weeks' notice." "Will you stay if I give you a 20% raise?" Alice: "Okay." "Hey dad, do you remember you said I should never be a quitter? You do? Well, it turns out that you're a moron."