Half Snack Comic Strips - Page 3

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132 Results for Half Snack

View 21 - 30 results for half snack comic strips. Discover the best "Half Snack" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #last doughnut, #last half, #xenos, #switch, #hard liquor

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Dilbert: No one ever wants to tae more than half or whats left of the last doughnut. Thats why I call it xenon doughnut. HEE HEE! Waitress: I heard some of that, do you want to switch to hard liquor? Woman: Hurry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2005's comic on:


Tags #sourpuss, #wast of time, #drum, #half full

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Sourpuss "Whatever you're doing there looks like a complete waste of time." "If you beat your head against the wall, that doesn't make it a drum." "People say the glass is half full. But they don't say of what."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #attend meeting, #request, #busy, #meet halfway, #not showing up, #half of life

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wally, can you attend my meeting friday? wally: Im very busy, but I'll meet you half way, what does that mean in this context? wally: they say half of life is just showing up. so...you will be .... wally: Doing the other half.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #prototype, #killed asok, #clone, #reincarnate, #snack jar, #snicker, #feel nuts

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"Your prototype killed Asok. That means it is your job to clone him and hope he reincarnates into the clone." "Carol used his DNA container for a snack jar, so be careful." "Why do I feel nuts?" "You're part snickers bar."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #better deal, #coworkers, #hike jacket, #lunch, #miser salad, #paying half, #respected colleague, #steaks

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WallyL Tina would you like y go to lunch with me? as a coworker or as a date? as a respected colleague. tina: sounds fishy. I know you're up to something: I just don't know what. you're getting the better deal. I'll be looking at your face but you get to look at me. Maybe you could hike up your jacket to occur your face. wally: fair enough, Tina: thi sis not a a=date. I insist on paying fifty percent. wally: Ok. Tina: I'll have the miser salad and water. wally: I'll have three half priced new york steaks.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2003's comic on:


Tags #intern, #cheap boss, #full size cubicle, #half size, #cubicle, #treats poorly, #no budget, #garbage can, #misunderstand

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Asok: "May I move to one of the empty cubicles?" The Boss: "Those are full-size cubicles; interns get half-size cubicles." Asok: "Yes... ordinarily, but there are hundreds of vacant cubicles because of downsizing." The Boss: "I'm not following you." Asok: "They're EMPTY! They will never be occupied. I want to use one." The Boss: "We don't have the budget to turn a full-size cubicle into a half-size cubicle just for you." "GAAA!!! That's not what I... never mind! Forget it!" "Furthermore, I do not believe this is a half-size cubicle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #nephew, #job interview, #bowling, #heavy balls, #work, #experince, #taught, #snack bar, #whacked, #new boss

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The Boss hands a piece of paper to Dilbert and says, "My nephew wants a job. Interview him and tell me what you think." The Boss' nephew sits across from Dilbert as Dilbert looks at his resume. Dilbert says, "Let's see... Your work experience is... Bowling." Dilbert asks, "Are you a professional bowler?" The Boss' nephew replies, "I only bowled once." The Boss' nephew continues, "But the balls were heavy. It seemed like work to me." The Boss' nephew continues, "That experience taught me everything I know." The Boss' nephew continues, "Unfortunately, I don't remember most of it." The Boss' nephew continues, "But I remember you're not supposed to bowl in the snack bar." Dilbert says to The Boss, "I recommend having him whacked." The Boss replies, "He's your new boss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2013's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #great leader, #hires good people, #no budget, #micromanaging, #half wits, #afford, #business

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Boss: A great leader hires good people and gives them the freedom to do their jobs. But I don't have the budget to hire good people, so I settle for micromanaging the half-wits I can afford. Catbert: Your boss was just in here saying the same thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cosmetics, #relations between the sexes, #awful smell, #new fragrance, #pepper spray, #half gym sock, #dual purpose, #odiferous moat, #weaker applicants, #tweak

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Dilbert: What's that awful smell? Wally: My new fragrance. It's half pepper spray and half gym sock. It has a dual purpose. The pepper spray is so I can build up an immunity to it. Dilbert: That'll probably come in handy someday. Wally: Right? The second purpose is to crate an odiferous moat around me to discourage the weaker romantic applicants. Carol: Unh!!! Wally: I might need to tweak the formula.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2014's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #competition (psychology), #start up, #pay half, #stay or go

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Dilbert: A start-up offered to pay me half of what I make now, plus equity in a company that has no value. Boss: I will double that if you stay! Dilbert: I decided to stay, but it was hard to feel good about it.