Morons Comic Strips - Page 3
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"I see a problem with your plan." "Oh, do you, Mr. Negativity?" "Why is it that you're the o-o-o-only person in this meeting to see a problem? Huh? Huh?" "My theory is that the rest of you are either morons or drunk." "I am totally sober!"
Dogbert's password recovery service for morons Ned: I done forgot my password. Dogbert: What's your name? Ned: My name is Ned, I think. Is your password 'Ned'? Ned: Sweet baby jeepers, you're like some sort of Nostrildogmas!" Dogbert: Here's a brochure for my cult.
The boss: Our CEO wants to eliminate our department because he doesn't know what we do. "I need someone to tell me what we do so I can tell him." Dilbert: "We explain things to morons." The Boss: "Should I be writing this down?"
The Boss approaches Carol and says, "Carol, if anyone calls, say I'm in a meeting." Carol asks, "What meeting?" The Boss replies, "It doesn't matter." Carol thinks, "#O!* vague instructions" as the phone rings. Carol says into the phone, "He's at his weekly meeting of 'Morons Anonymous.' She continues on the phone, "It's a long meeting. They usually get into an argument about the definition of 'anonymous.' She continues on the phone, "Half of them think it means 'angry.' Then someone throws a chair and it's pandemonium." She continues on the phone, "The whole thing usually ends with a shoe-sniffing contest." The Boss returns to Carol's desk. She says, "Your mom called."
Dilbert: Is it too late to rethink our new marketing slogan? When we say, "We're Not A Bunch Of Morons," it kinds sounds to my ears as if we are. Boss: But it says we're not. Dilbert: And you're not a rat-faced waste of oxygen. Boss: Thank you.
Dilbert: My PowerPoint slides have a little something for everyone. For my intelligent viewers, I have data, and for the morons, I have manipulative anecdotes. Which reminds me-- did you hear about the boss who died because he didn't praise his employee?
Dilbert sits down at the table where Dogbert is writing on plates. Dilbert asks, "What are you making?" Dogbert replies, "Commemorative collectible plates." Dogbert explains, "One of the mysteries of life is that you can put any picture on a plate and hordes of morons will want to own it." Dilbert holds up a plate and says, "Wow! An acorn! And it's on a plate!" Dogbert asks, "What's it like to be a member of a horde?"