No Dna Comic Strips - Page 3
37 Results for No Dna
View 21 - 30 results for no dna comic strips. Discover the best "No Dna" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share May 19, 2004's comic on:
Share July 09, 2000's comic on:
Asok points to his diagram as he explains to the group, "My software will create human simulations from DNA samples." The Boss asks Asok, "What's the market application?" Asok answers, "Well...there are many various applications." The Boss says to Asok, "Name one." Asok begins to explain, "Well...someday the entire human genome will be mapped and decoded." Asok continues, "You could take a hair sample from a woman who refuses to date you..." Asok continues to explain, "and create a software simulation of her to keep in your computer watch." Asok says, "You could have one button to feed her and one button to punish her." Wally replies, "I'd buy it." The Boss asks Asok, "Can you add a button?"
Share January 29, 2007's comic on:
Dogbert Consults Dogbert: Your problem is that you have too many losers on the payroll. Luckily I have developed a fool-proof DNA test for identifying losers. Well, I'm afraid your DNA doesn't match mine, loser.
Share January 30, 2007's comic on:
Dogbert: I analyzed the DNA of all of your applicants to find the best fit for the job. The most qualified applicant who is willing to work for you has three ears, a snout, and a life expectancy of Thursday." The Boss: Dilbert, meet the new guy. And do it quickly." cough cough
Share December 07, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: "I am sad to report that Asok the intern died during a test of our moon shuttle prototype." "Before he left, he put a sample of his DNA in a jar. His plan is to reincarnate into his own clone." "Where's the jar with Asok's DNA?" Carol: "I needed a second candy jar."
Share May 22, 2014's comic on:
None of my subordinates are supportive. I don't know why. Perhaps they're sensing that you have troll DNA. Um... What? Did your mom ever live under a bridge?
Share December 07, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: I combined a DNA test kit with big data to predict a person's future health issues. That depressing knowledge caused every member of the test group to make risky lifestyle choices. Now half of them are dead. At the risk of bragging, that's exactly what my model predicted.
Share March 04, 1995's comic on:
The Boss hands Dilbert a sheet of paper and says, "From now on, salaries will be based on your predicted success, not your past performance." While Dilbert reads the report, the Boss says, "We ran a computer model against your education and DNA information. We predict you'll die in a stapler mishap within a week." Dilbert asks, "What if I disagree with this prediction?" The Boss points at Dilbert and says, "Write up your opinion and staple it to the analysis."
Share November 08, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching tv. Dilbert says, "You should read books instead of watching television all the time, Dogbert." Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert replies, "Books are more educational because they don't have any sound or pictures." Dilbert continues, "And books are challenging because it takes hours to read something that television could convey with one image." Dilbert continues, "And books make you think because they have more complex plots." Dilbert continues, "In fact, you can read entire books without even figuring out what the story was about." Dilbert continues, "Now compare that with all the junk you're watching." Dogbert says, "I just watched the story of how DNA was discovered, then learned to bake a cake from scratch, and now I'm learning the causes of global warming." Dogbert asks, "What are you reading?" Dilbert replies, "It's called 'The Poodle Who Killed.'"
Share April 12, 2007's comic on:
I never reviewed the design. "Yes you did. Here's a copy of your e-mail." "This is hardly conclusive. Did you get any DNA evidence?" "What was all that screaming?" "I had to collect some DNA."