Pizza Delivery Comic Strips - Page 3

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32 Results for Pizza Delivery

View 21 - 30 results for pizza delivery comic strips. Discover the best "Pizza Delivery" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 1990's comic on:


Tags #armchair, #computer, #Dilbert, #phone, #pounds, #release, #skiis, #alpine ski machine

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Dilbert sits in his chair watching television. An announcer says, ". . . A revolutionary fitness discovery!" The announcer continues, "Melt pounds away with the 'Alpine Ski Machine.'" The announcer concludes, "No exercise required." Dilbert leaves the chair. Dilbert holds the telephone to his ear as the announcer says, "Dial 1-800 . . ." Dilbert accepts a package delivery. Dilbert stands in a pair of skis. He thinks, "I can't imagine how this melts away the pounds." Dilbert bends over and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I can't reach the release." Dilbert reaches for the refrigerator but the skis lock his feet in place.

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Share January 07, 1997's comic on:


Tags #mail order bride, #elbonian, #exact date, #garage

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Wally and Dilbert sit at a table eating lunch. Wally says, "My Elbonian mail-order bride will arrive any day now." Dilbert asks, "Why don't you know the exact date?" Wally replies, "Because they're sending her by mail. I wasn't willing to pay for overnight delivery." Dilbert says, "She's one lucky gal." Wally says, "I'll probably keep her in the garage. It has a sink."

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Share December 18, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dogbert teaches math, #cut staff, #bonus worth, #expense requiremnets, #calculated, #budget, #multiply by one, #doctor, #flashlight, #projections come from, #medical

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The caption says, "Dogbert teaches business math." Dogbert points to a diagram of an equation. A picture of Wally, Dilbert and Alice illustrates the equation, "Grunts equals zero." The caption says, "#1. Any job that can be done by two people . . ." The Boss stands behind two people. The caption continues, ". . . Can be done by one person for half the cost." The Boss yanks one of the workers out of his chair. The caption says, "#2. A bonus today is worth more than . . ." The Boss holds a large bag of money. The caption continues, ". . . The whole company tomorrow." An office building has a closed sign on it. The caption says, "#3. Your expense requirements for December can be calculated . . ." The Boss sits at his desk writing on a piece of paper. The caption continues, ". . . By taking what's left in the budget and multiplying by one." A delivery person asks the Boss, "Giraffe goes where?" Dogbert says, "Next week, a doctor with a flashlight shows us where sales projections come from."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 2000's comic on:


Tags #purse stolen, #navy seal training, #booby trap cubcile, #early mail delivery, #hurt mailman, #catch a thief

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Alice says to the Boss, "Someone stole my purse." Alice continues, "So I used my navy seal training to booby-trap my cubicle." From Alice's cubicle someone screeches. "Aaiee!!!" Alice replies, "The mail is early today."

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Share March 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #cutomers, #delivery, #business, #took money, #winner, #lied

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Dilbert says to The Boss, "A customer keeps asking when we'll deliver the stuff they bought." The Boss asks, "When will we?" Dilbert responds, "Never, you lied to them to get their business." Dilbert continues, "You took their money and gave them nothing. Do you know what that makes you?" The Boss exclaims, "The winner!"

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Share January 05, 2005's comic on:


Tags #receptionist, #delivery man, #attractive people, #positions

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Carol: "I might appear to be a receptionist, but I'm not." "Believe me, I know that. Companies generally put attractive people in those positions." Carol: "I don't like where this is heading." "I'll wait until she get's back. Yum-Yum."

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Share July 17, 2009's comic on:


Tags #asking, #laptop, #equipment, #refusal, #ridicule, #evil, #cruel

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Mordac, the preventer of information services. Asok says, "May I use this laptop that no one else is using?" Mordac says, "No, but you can have my old pizza box while you waterboard yourself in your own tears." Asok says, "I guess that's better than nothing." Mordac says, "Really? In that case you can't have it."

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Share May 27, 2007's comic on:


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"The best choice for employee of the month is..." "Congratulations to Alice for being our employee of the month!" "You get to use my parking spot near the entrance for the rest of the month." "I take public transit to work." "You also get to take the rest of today off." "It's already five o'clock, and you said I need to finish my project by tomorrow morning." "And you get to have pizza with me." "I'm on a @#$% low carb diet!!!" "I nailed it." PIZZA

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Share January 28, 2014's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #terrorists, #weapons, #fleet small drones, #customers, #infidels, #design guy, #mullah john smith

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Boss: We won the bid to build a fleet of small drones for retail package delivery. I'm not sure why they call their customers infidels, but I doubt that's important. You'll be working with their design guy, who's name is Mullah John Smith.

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Share February 02, 2014's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #managers & supervisors, #questioning, #jeff bezos rule, #rule of meetings, #two pizzas, #feed a meeting, #eat two pizzas, #zeros paradox, #feed everyone, #cheese bread, #business

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Boss: We're going to use the Jeff Bezos rule of meetings. Bezos says you should never have a meeting that is so big you can't feed everyone with two pizzas. Wally: I can eat two pizzas by myself. Alice: How do you count the people who have gluten sensitivity and don't eat pizza? Dilbert: If I apply Zeno's Paradox to the slice size, can I have infinite attendees? Wally: And what does it mean to "feed" everyone? Do they need to be totally full? Boss: Stop being engineers! Wally: How does cheese bread fit into this?