Rifle Through Purse Comic Strips - Page 3
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313 Results for Rifle Through Purse
View 21 - 30 results for rifle through purse comic strips. Discover the best "Rifle Through Purse" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday January 13,
2007
Tags #product with netork, #run cable through shoebox, #twigs and leaves, #cat 5, #cat 6
Transcript
Sales Engineer I've successfully integrated our product with your network." "It might look as if all I did was run a Cat5 cable through a shoebox full of twigs and leaves." "Is that all you did?" "A Cat6 cable would be overkill."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday September 16,
2012
Tags #emergency, #lostphone, #company id, #keys, #critical folder, #self generated crisi, #dead battery, #small brown purse
Transcript
Coworker: Emergency! I can't find my phone and I"m late for a customer meeting. Dilbert: Maybe it's with your company I.D. badge that you had to drive all the way home for this morning. Alice: It might be with your keys that you lost after lunch. Dilbert: Maybe it's under that critical folder that you couldn't find before your last meeting. Alice: Maybe it's wherever you created your last self-generated crisis. Coworker: I just remembered I put my phone in my purse because the battery is dead. Has anyone seen a small, brown purse?
Sunday March 03,
2013
Tags #hunter gather roots, #office equipment, #ouge, #power cords, #rummages through trah, #trash into gold, #upgarde
Transcript
Coworker: Do you mind if I rummage through the trash in the technology lab? Dilbert: Um, okay. Coworker: I'm getting back to my hunter-gatherer roots. Score! These old power cords sell on Ebay for up to $3 apiece. Ha ha! I'm a genius who turns trash into gold! How's that compare to whatever you're doing here. Dilbert: Well, I'm removing valuable features from our product so we can.. gouge our customers with the... upgrade. Coworker: Wow. Your life is a total waste. Dilbert: Not if I sell the power cord.
Saturday September 13,
2008
Tags #purse at home, #pay you, #curse of competence, #fortune teller, #curse on first born, #crystal ball
Transcript
Dilbert's Mom says, "I seem to have left my purse at home. I won't be able to pay you." A fortune teller says, "I put the curse of competence on your firstborn son!" Dilbert's Mom says, "That doesn't sound so bad." Years Later A man says, "I need a little help." Dilbert says, "GAAA! Why always me?!"
Monday November 10,
2008
Tags #spam filter, #self aware, #managing the company, #messages, #allow through, #email, #hair growth
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Our spam filter has become self-aware" Dilbert says, "It's managing the company by deciding which messages to allow through." The Boss says, "All I'm getting is e-mail about hair growth and... ooh, another lucky guess."
Sunday August 18,
2002
Tags #pet peeve, #cellphones, #restaurants, #public, #talk louder, #just rude, #decides whats rude, #commitee, #common sense, #drive through, #using microphone
Transcript
Dilbert, Dogbert, and a woman are walking outside. The woman says, "My pet peeve is when people use their cell phones in restaurants." Dilbert asks, "Why? Do they talk louder than the other people in the restaurant?" The woman responds, "No. It's just rude." Dilbert asks, "Who decides what is rude? Is there a committee?" The woman responds, "It's common sense. You're not supposed to talk into electronic gadgets at a restaurant." Dilbert asks, "What about a drive-through place? Is it okay to order your food using the microphone?" The woman is visibly frustrated. Dogbert answers his cell phone, "Yello." Dogbert says into his cell phone, "Hi, Ratbert... Yeh, he made the mistake of talking... The goodnight kiss is a definite no-go." Dogbert continues into the phone, "No, it's not awkward, but thanks for asking."
Wednesday May 29,
2013
Tags #managers & supervisors, #mentors, #drive steak through heart, #business
Transcript
Boss: Asok, thanks to my mentoring, someday you will be just like me. Asok: Gaaa!!! Someone please drive a stake through my heart! Hurry! Boss: Apparently I don't know what mentoring is.
Thursday October 29,
2015
Human Contact Through Social Media
Tags #loneliness, #antisocial, #people, #introvert, #social media, #communication, #isolation, #technology
Transcript
Asok: Wally, does your lifestyle of being useless ever leave you feeling lonely? Wally: That's the old way of thinking, Asok. Now a person can get the benefits of human contact through social media. Asok: Do you use social media? Wally: No. I run a tight ship.
Tuesday May 24,
2011
Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #firewall down, #viruses, #spyware, #tuberculosis, #zombies, #deposed dictator, #iphone 3gs, #army of mole people
Transcript
Dilbert: Our firewall is down. Some bad stuff is getting through. Boss: How bad? Dilbert: So far we've seen viruses, spyware, tuberculosis, zombies, a deposed dictator, and an iPhone 3GS. Update: an army of mole people from another dimension has tunneled through. Boss: Keep me informed.
Saturday May 28,
2011
Tags #business panics, #worry, #hackers, #firewall, #escape pod, #firwall
Transcript
Boss: Hackers got through our firewall. CEO: Launch escape pod! Two questions: What is a firewall? And who designed my escape pod?