Trade Ya Comic Strips - Page 3

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45 Results for Trade Ya

View 21 - 30 results for trade ya comic strips. Discover the best "Trade Ya" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exhibitions, #honesty, #relations between the sexes, #chat me up, #mammary filter, #trade show, #free stuff, #job orders

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At the trade show Woman says, "Are you actually interested in this product or are you just trying to chat me up?" Dilbert says, "The show is too big to see everything, so I use a mammary filter to decide who I talk to." Woman says, "You use a what?" Dilbert says, "Do you have any free stuff or job offers?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #envy, #exhibitions, #technology trade show, #so huge, #illusion, #great cup holder

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Wally says, "What happened to you?" Dilbert says, "I went to a technology trade show." Dilbert says, "The event was so huge that it made me feel small. But it's just an illusion." Wally says, "For an illusion, you make a great cup holder." Dilbert says, "Dude. Not cool."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #use open source, #emergency, #trade publication, #no one gets hurt

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The Boss: From now on, I want you to use open source software for everything we do. It's free. Dilbert: I'll be right back." "It's an emergency. I think he's been reading. Alice: We know you have a trade publication in here. Hand it over and no one has to get hurt."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #keeper of giant binder, #secret technology, #never leave office, #no drawer, #no desk, #use as tiny bed, #rest of days, #trade show binder

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Alice: "Asok, I designate you the keeper of the giant binder." "It contains our secret technology plans." "It can never leave this office." "It won't fit in any drawer." "And the 'clean desk policy' forbids me from leaving it on my desktop." "GAAA!! I can't take it home, and I can't leave it here!" "I must use it as a tiny bed and spend the rest of my days guarding it." Dilbert: "What did you do with the giant binder prop that you got at the trade show?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #downsize you, #ted, #bad job, #essentail function, #cost reductions, #marketing, #spent too much, #trade show booth, #dept phone list., #business

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The Boss says to Ted, "Ted, I have to downsize you." Ted turns around and asks, "Was I doing a bad job?" The Boss replies, "No, it's more complicated than that." Ted asks, "Is my essential function being eliminated?" The Boss answers, "No, the problem is that someone in marketing spent too much for a trade show booth." The Boss continues, "So every manager had to submit a list of potential cost reductions." The Boss continues, "I might have accidentally sent the department phone list as an e-mail attachment." Ted mumbles, "*%! $@." The Boss thinks, "There are lots of whiners in "A" through "M."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #magic, #supernatural practices, #sacred dance, #cucbicle, #useful by comparison

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Dilbert: It is time for the sacred dance of the cubicle. Hi-aw-ah-hee hu-ha-ya-ya wa-ha-ya-yi. That should make everything I do today seem useful by comparison.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #internet & world wide web, #office equipment, #public speaking, #ordinary powerpoint, #portal, #another dimension, #fantasy, #reality, #trade places, #slides

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Dilbert: This might look like an ordinary Powerpoint slide. But it is actually a portal to another dimension in which fantasy and reality have traded places. Boss: Stop playing with my slides. Dilbert: Beware the horned beast that crosses over.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #food werewolf, #too long, #no food, #werewolf

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Alice: We'd better wrap up this meeting because Jenny is a food werewolf. Dilbert: What? Alice: When she goes too long without eating, she turns into a werewolf. It might be too late. Werewolf: YA THINK?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #outbox, #mail, #outgoing mail, #fish, #weather, #small talk, #errands

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Dilbert stands in front of a desk. A voice from the out box says, "Hey! Big guy, how are ya?" An envelope peeks out of the box and says, "How's the family? You look great . . . Nice weather, huh?" Dilbert walks away thinking, "I hate outgoing mail." The envelope yells, "Do you fish?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #authentic, #chunk, #berlin, #wall

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Dogbert stands in front of a exhibit and says to the man and woman behind him, "This authentic chunk of the Berlin wall is the latest acquisition of my museum." The woman says, "Hey! You must think we're a couple of hillbillies. We saw a hole in your sidewalk in that exact shape." Dogbert says, "Obviously we had to trade a chunk of our sidewalk to Berlin so we could get this." The man says to the woman, "Apologize to the dog, Flossie."