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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bad timing, #corporate offcie, #declared war, #french embassy, #satellite program, #slingshot

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Dilbert: The corporate office sent me to head up the Elbonian satellite launching program. Elbanian: ooh...bad timing. The french delivered their satellite early. we already tried to launch it with the town slingshot. Dilbert: It doesn't get much worse than this. Elbonain: It flattened the french embassy. They declared war an hour ago.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 1994's comic on:


Tags #emphasize positive, #french staellite, #trending downward, #upbeat, #war with france, #project staus

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dilberts letter: "Project status: We accidentally destroyed the French satellite and are now at war with France." Elbonian: "Maybe you should be a little more upbeat in your report. Emphasize the positive." letter: "...on a positive note, our headcount expenses are trending downward."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #all get out, #french bombing, #hardy breed, #run, #scare us

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Dilbert: The French are bombin us!! Run!! Elbonians: we elnonians are a hardy breed. Bombs don't scare us. ELBONIAN:'Course id be lying if I told you this didn't sting like all get out. NUPE IT.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #another war, #elbonia, #france, #french embassy, #french stopped bomb, #goading, #nothing worth destroying, #scarp metal

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Dilbert: "...The French stopped bombing Elbonia when they realized there was nothing worth destroying." "Ironically, the GNP of Elbonia tripled by selling the bomb fragments for scrap. When I left they were trying to goad France into another war." "French Embassy" Elbonian: "You call this swill champagne?? If we drank this we'd have to eat snails to get the taste out of our mouths too!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 1994's comic on:


Tags #less you know, #happier, #struggle, #computer, #naked, #clueless, #annoying, #feeling good, #technology

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RatBert: "The less you know, the happier you are." "While you struggle with that computer, I'm naked, clueless and f-e-e-e-ling good!" Dilbert: "You're really annoying me now." Ratbert: "Totally naked! Isn't that a hoot?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 1994's comic on:


Tags #patron saint, #technology, #heal broken hearts, #demons, #stupidity, #spiritual side

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Dogbert: I declare myself the patron saint of technology. I heal broken technology with my right paw and I use the scepter to drive out the demons of stupidity. Dilbert: I don't think Ive seen your spiritual side before. Dogbert: OUT! OUT!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #saint dogbert, #technology, #demons, #stupidity, #make command, #easy to remeber, #software developer

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Saint Dogbert seeks out technology that has been possessed by the demons of stupidity. He Happens across a software developer. Man: I'll make the command easier to remember like CTRL- ALT-F4-DEL" and if they forget that they can just edit the source code in command. com perfect Dogbert: out! out!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #exorcise demons, #stupidity, #posess, #stupidity gone, #boss, #empty suit

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Dogbert: Hold still while I exorcise the demons of stupidity that possess you. OUT! OUT! I command you demons of stupidity to be gone!! The suit is now safe. The boss: thanks!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #evil demons, #stupidity, #saint dogbert, #image, #protect and wathc, #career change, #out demons of stupid

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Dogbert: "Is your job plagued by the evil demons of stupidity?" "Simply affix this image of Saint Dogbert to every document, cubicle or computer you want to protect and watch your career being to change!" "Out Out!! You demons of stupidity!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #c computer lamguage, #black hole, #light can't escape, #field gravity, #ideas, #escape, #lack substance

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"No, 'C' is a computer language, not the grade for my project." "What's happening?" "He turned into a black hole, so dense that light cannot escape his field of gravity." "Ping" "Unfortunately, only his ideas can escape the gravity because they lack substance." "What if you program in 'B'?"