2018 Comic Strips - Page 3

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Asok Upgrades His Soul

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Asok Upgrades His Soul - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags actions, beliefs, empty life, hilarious, legacy souls, social media, dopamine, delivery systems, technology

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Asok: I used to have a traditional soul, but I upgraded it. Now I let the major social media companies control my beliefs and actions through their dopamine delivery systems., Dilbert: That sounds like and empty life. Asok: you old- timers with your legacy souls are hilarious.

Dilbert Refuses To Admit He Is Wrong

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 Dilbert Refuses To Admit He Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags wrong, right vs. wrong, narcissist, refuse to admit

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Tina: People keep telling me you refuse to admit when you are wrong. Dilbert: It only looks that way because Im right most off the time and people are too dumb to know it. Tina: wow! They're right about you being a narcissist, too. Dilbert: I refuse to admit I'm wrong about this.

Ricky Joins The Ai Project

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Ricky Joins The Ai Project  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags recommendation, artificial intelligence, lowers bar, human intelligence, artificial, honored, too nice

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Dilbert: I recommend Ricky to our artificial intelligence project. He lowers the bar on what constitutes human intelligence, so it will be easier for us to achieve the artificial kind. I would be honored to work on the project, The boss: Okay, I see what you mean.

Ceo Gives Shoulder Rubs

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Ceo Gives Shoulder Rubs  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags flirting, implementation, new rules, shoulder rub, sock collar, team spirit

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CEO: Hey, Alice. Let me give you a shoulder rub in the name of team spirit. CEO: AAAAGH!!! Alice: click CEO: I hate having a court - ordered shock collar. The boss: I don't see a...oh.

Asok Is A Narcissist Too

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Asok Is A Narcissist Too - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags situation, too dumb, narcissist, Right, wrong

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Ted: Dilbert is a total narcissist, He refuses to admit when he'swrong. Asok: How would the situation look any different to you if he's actually right most of the time and you're too dumb to know it? Ted: I don't understand your point. Asok: According to your that makes me a narcissist.

Employee Body Cams

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Employee Body Cams  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags against ceo, misinterpret warmness, record interactions, sexual harrasment, wear body cams, complaints

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The Boss: we've had seven hundred complaints about sexual harassment in the past month. From now on, employees must wear body cams to r record every interaction. Alice: Weren't all of this e complaints against our CEO? The boss: People misinterpret his warmness.

User Specifications Are Not Complete

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User Specifications Are Not Complete  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags user specifications, apps, build app, no hope, fantasize

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Dilbert: are these user specifications complete? Ted: No, I plan to add requirements as you build the app until you have no hope of success and you fantasize about strangling me. Dilbert: Do you know what isn't as refreshing as you'd hope? Dogbert: Honesty?

Absurd Absolute

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 Absurd Absolute - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags software upgrade, idiot, absurd absolute, admit when wrong, eaten unicorn

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You're an idiot if you think the software upgrade will solve every one of our problems. Dilbert: Or are you an idiot for characterizing my reasonable idea as an absurd absolute? Why cant you admit when you're wrong? Dilbert: Same reason you've never eaten a unicorn.

Alice Gives Honest Opinion

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Alice Gives Honest Opinion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honest opinion, monkey vomit, rescind, request

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The Boss: Alice, I want your honest opinion on my plan. Don't hold back. Alice: Your plan looks like a monkey vomited on a dictionary. The Boss: I remind my request for honesty,. Alice: Your plan is terrific!

Data Encapsulation

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Data Encapsulation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inheritance polymorphism, managing, bullying, data encapsulation

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Dilbert: Do you know the difference between data encapsulation and inheritance polymorphism? The boss: No. Dilbert: Then how can you manage someone who odes? The boss; Do you know the difference between managing and bullying? Dilbert: No. The Boss: Problem solved.