5 Dollars Per Night Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for 5 dollars per night comic strips. Discover the best "5 Dollars Per Night" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 1991's comic on:


Tags #half, #chicken, #ninety-six, #afford, #place, #oven, #mitten, #cheapskate, #insensitve, #first date, #mittens

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The caption says, "First date." Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant looking at menus. Dilbert asks the waiter, "How much is the half chicken?" The waiter replies, "Ninety-six dollars." Dilbert looks at the menu and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I can't afford this place." Dilbert asks, "How much is one-eighth of a chicken?" The waiter replies, "Ninety-two dollars." Dilbert asks, "What can I get for thirty bucks?" The waiter replies, "We could slap you with an oven mitten." The woman says, "I can't believe what a cheap-skate you are." The woman continues, "My mother was right: all men are insensitive!" Dilbert hands the menu to the waiter and says, "Two oven mittens." The waiter says to the woman, "So, it looks like you'll be free later . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #stand-up, #comedy, #competition, #straightforward, #freestyle, #mandatory, #categories, #mattresses

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've decided to enter the stand-up comedy competition next week." Dilbert reads a document and continues, "The rules seem pretty straightforward . . . Five minutes per person . . . The first minute is freestyle comedy." Dilbert continues, "The remaining time is for the mandatory categories: Dan Quayle, flatulence, and the warning labels on mattresses."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #judged, #accept, #lacked, #emotion, #judging, #them

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I feel like I'm being judged by everybody I see." Dilbert asks, "Why can't people accept other people as they are, without judging them?" Dogbert holds up a card with the score "7.5" written on it. Dogbert says, "It was a good speech, but it lacked emotion."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #rich, #money, #wallow, #mud, #puddle, #bored, #ever, #get

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Dogbert walks on a sidewalk thinking, "I love being rich." Dogbert says to a passerby, "I'll give you ten thousand dollars if you wallow in that mud puddle." As the man lies face down in the mud, Dogbert says, "I don't see how rich people ever get bored."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #neighborhood, #window, #through, #awkward, #sucked, #fungus, #brick, #valentine

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Dilbert looks out the window and says, "Hey, that's Lisa. I dated her last night!" Dilbert walks outside and says, "Lisa! What are you doing in this neighborhood!" Lisa looks guilty and replies, "Well . . . Actually, I didn't know how to tell you to stop calling me . . ." Lisa continues, ". . . So I came to throw this brick with a note on it through your window." Lisa throws the brick and it crashes through the window. She says, "It seems awkward now . . ." Dilbert reads the note on the brick, ". . . It was like you sucked the oxygen out of the room . . . You remind me of fungus . . ." Dilbert reads, ". . . Continued on brick two." Dilbert ducks as another brick crashes through the window. He says, "That's it! She is OFF my Valentine list!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #faked, #hollywood, #minutes, #world, #news, #major, #stories, #string, #attached, #space, #shuttle, #reruns

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. As they watch television, Dogbert asks, "How do we know that the news isn't faked in Hollywood?" Dogbert continues, "Why is there exactly thirty minutes of world news every night? And why don't major stories ever happen on weekends?" Dogbert points at the tv and says, "And I'm sure I see a string attached to the space shuttle." Dilbert says, "Worse yet, it's a rerun."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #conquer, #elbonia, #ten, #minutes, #thing, #Dogbert, #despotic, #congenial, #pbs, #last, #night, #missile, #boring, #smart

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Dogbert flies through the sky in a hover-saucer. Dogbert thinks, "I should be able to conquer Elbonia in about ten minutes with this thing." Dogbert thinks, "I'll be 'King Dogbert of Elbonia,' despotic yet congenial. Uh-oh." An American missle flies toward the saucer. The missile asks, "Did you watch PBS last night?" Dogbert says, "Aaagh!!! It's a smart missile! It's boring in on me!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #can, #one, #believe, #dog, #industry, #suppose, #give, #it, #away

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "Ten dollars . . . It's my final offer." Dogbert says, "Okay, but you can only use one hand." Dilbert pats Dogbert on the head. Dilbert says as he hands Dogbert ten dollars, "I don't believe this is now standard in the dog industry." Dogbert replies, "Oh, right, I suppose the others give it away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #yesterday, #price, #no-rabies, #warranty, #plain, #wag, #pet, #booth, #business, #stand

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Dogbert sits behind a box with a sign that says, "Pet me. $5.00." Dilbert says, "Hey! You charged me TEN dollars yesterday!" Dogbert explains, "Five dollars is just the base price. I charge extra for an extended no-rabies warranty and other add-ons." Dilbert says, "I'll take a 'plain.'" Dogbert asks, "Wag or no wag?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #world, #worse, #been, #born, #wait, #turn, #computer, #every, #night, #electricity, #meaning, #life, #today, #bedroom, #light, #day

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Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "Would the world be any worse off if I'd never been born?" Dilbert thinks, "Wait . . . If not for me, who would turn off this computer every night. I'm saving electricity!" Dilbert arrives at home carrying his briefcase and says to Dogbert, "I found meaning in my life today." Dogbert says, "You left your bedroom light on all day."