Attractive Baboon Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

62 Results for Attractive Baboon

View 21 - 30 results for attractive baboon comic strips. Discover the best "Attractive Baboon" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #speak about project, #plan, #created input, #arrogant baboon, #slap you, #flashbacks, #honeymoon

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "Dilbert asked me to speak to you about the project plan you created without his input." Dogbert screams, "It's impossible, you arrogant baboon!!!" Dogbert continues, "Lean over here so I can slap you." The Boss says, "I'm having flashbacks to my honeymoon."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attractive, #body language, #employee satisfaction, #extent of feelings, #fake happiness, #impending reorganization, #Lottery, #marketing feild, #new rules, #not motivated, #paycheck, #sarcastic, #survey, #unprofessional, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Asok the Intern explains the new rules of body language." Asok smiles and says, "Fake happiness." The caption says, "This means: I am not motivated by the size of my paycheck." Asok looks at his paycheck and sobs loudly. The caption says, "This means: I am slightly concerned about the impending reorganization." Asok shivers and looks frightened. The caption says, "This means: I have decided to work in the marketing field." Asok sticks out his tongue and turns his head in a "counter-clockwise spin." The caption says, "This means: I am being sarcastic." Asok says, "Oh, THERE'S a good plan." The caption says, "Note lips." The caption says, "This means: The recent employee satisfaction survey has not captured the extent of my feelings." Asok hangs in a noose. The caption says, "This means: I think you are attractive but it would be very unprofessional to show it." Asok looks at a woman and his eyes pop out of his head. The caption says, "This means: My lottery investment paid off." Asok gives the Boss a wedgie.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech conference, #attractive woman, #brush hand, #key, #concierge, #hotel, #check in, #men dominated

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert goes up to the airline desk at the airport. Woman behind the counter says, "Before I check you in, let me explain something.." Woman says, "You're here for a technology conference. I am the only attractive woman who will talk to you for days. I am not free for coffee later." Dilbert asks, "Can I brush your hand when you give me the key?" Woman says, "I'll toss it to you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #do for living, #slavishly obey, #insane commands, #pointy haired baboon, #best catch, #big box

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman each hold a wine glass. The woman says, "So, what do you do for a living?" Dilbert says, "I slavishly obey the insane commands of a pointy-haired baboon." The woman says, "The sad thing is that you're the best catch at this party." Dilbert says, "I work in a big box."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #carol got mba, #hard wirk, #rewarded, #pompous baboon, #sensitive way, #secretarial stigma, #wet caroets, #coffee, #fetch me one

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss and Carol are standing in front of Alice, Wally and Dilbert. The boss says, while pointing to Carol: "Congratulations to my secretary Carol for getting her MBA" The boss says to Carol: "At this company we believe hard work should be rewarded." The boss says to Carol: "The next time you fetch my coffee, get some coffee for yourself too!" Carol says to the boss: "You should be promoting me, you pompous baboon!" The boss says to Carol: "How can I explain this in the most sensitive way?" The boss says: "The secretarial stigma will cover you like a mountain of wet carpets until the day you die." The boss says to Carol, who looks furious: "I'm glad we had this talk. I think it helped." Alice and Wally are walking behind the boss and Alice says:"The next time you ask for coffee. We'd like to watch."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ad campiagn, #festured, #new ceo, #powerful woman, #indutry, #than lines

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits next to the Boss at a table. The Boss says, "My consultant thinks you should be featured in our ad campaign." An attractive woman sits behind a large desk and says, "Is that because I'm the new CEO and the most powerful woman in our industry?" The Boss answers, "Umm...yes. That's why." Dogbert turns and says, "Remember to ask about tan lines."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating attractive men, #dumb self centered, #intelligent homely guy, #gym, #free weights, #girl talk, #Dilbert, #Women

View Transcript

Transcript

Two women are at the gym. The dark haired says to the light haired, "I'm tired of dating attractive men who are dumb and self-centered." The dark haired continues, "Maybe I can find an intelligent homely guy and clean him up." The light haired exclaims, "No!!!" Dilbert approaches the women and asks, "Do you mind if I work in a set with those five-pounders?" The dark haired looks at Dilbert from the corner of her eye and smiles. The light haired screams, "Don't do it, Amber!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #glass walled conference room, #main lobby, #fish bowl, #attractive employees, #send opinion, #convene tribunal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Carol, "Carol, I need to reserve the glass-walled conference room by the main lobby." Carol replies, "The 'Fish Bowl' is only available to attractive employees. We don't want to scare visitors." Dilbert says, "I want a second opinion." Carol replies, "Very well. I'll convene the tribunal of admin assistants."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tribunal, #admin. assistants, #appeal, #glass walled

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol says, "The tribunal of Admin Assistants has reached a decision." Carol continues, "Dilbert is not attractive enough to use the glass-walled conference room near the lobby." Dilbert asks, "Can I appeal?" Carol responds, "Apparently not."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hands free phone, #insulting comments, #boss directed, #pointy haired, #face transplant, #baboon, #personal calls, #company time

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss is walking past Wally. Wally says, "You're an ignorant maggot. You disgust me." Wally continues, "You should get a face transplant from a baboon." The Boss exclaims, "What?!" Wally points to his headset and explains, "I'm not talking to you. I'm using my hands-free phone." The Boss replies, "Oh.. for a minute I thought... well, nevermind." Wally says, "Ha ha! You might be the most gullible moron in the galaxy!" Wally yells, "You pointy-haired, gray-suited pile of crud!!!" The Boss faces Wally, fuming with anger. Wally says into his headset, "Mom, can you hold? My excellent boss wants to talk to me." Wally asks sheepishly, "What?" The Boss exclaims, "No personal calls on company time!"