Bill Agtes Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

42 Results for Bill Agtes

View 21 - 30 results for bill agtes comic strips. Discover the best "Bill Agtes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2000's comic on:


Tags #charge fee, #investments, #removing tonsils, #years of training

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert investments: A co-worker and Dogbert are in a meeting. The co-worker asks Dogbert: "So, you charge a fee every year even if you do nothing?" Dogbert answers: "It takes years of training to know when to do nothing." The co-worker says: "I guess that makes sense." Dogbert hands a sheet of paper to the co-worker and says: "Here's my bill for not removing your tonsils."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2000's comic on:


Tags #generic self help, #consultant, #keep a journal, #lead by example, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert as they sit together at the kitchen table, "I've decided to become a generic self-help consultant." Dogbert continues, "I'll tell people to keep a journal of all their thoughts. Then I'll bill them." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How would that help anyone?" Dogbert replies, "I lead by example, my friend."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2001's comic on:


Tags #give away prodcut, #for free, #deinstall it, #bill customers, #consumer despaitations

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "My plan is to give away our product for free." The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We'll only bill customers who ask us to deinstall it." Wally and Dilbert continue looking on impassively as The Boss continues, "For once, those reports of consumer decapitations will work in our favor."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2002's comic on:


Tags #management decision, #too distarcted, #make informed decison, #random, #no answer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "...And that's why I need a management decision." The Boss says, "Hi, Bill!" Dilbert says, "But you are too distracted to make an informed decision, so this will be random." The Boss says, "Bob!" Dilbert says, "And here it comes." The Boss replies, "Would 'No' be an answer to anything you said?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2003's comic on:


Tags #too busy, #bottleneck, #document, #desk, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

"I can't do any more work on my project until you give your input, but you're too busy." "There's no polite way to say this: Bill, you're a bottleneck." "Your document is now saying hi to the bottom of the pile."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new guy, #new hire, #bottleneck, #bill, #titanium

View Transcript

Transcript

Bottleneck Bill Bottlkeneck Bill: All purchase orders must be approved by me. I'll be too busy to approve anything but at least we have the system. Its titanium. Nice try. Alice: GRRRRR

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #cell phone bill, #expense, #award, #speech, #lost cell phone, #low bill, #company phone

View Transcript

Transcript

"The expense cutters award goes to Wally for drastically lowering his cell phone bill." "Wally, would you like to say a few words to the group?" "I lost my phone last month. Hey, thanks for the hundred dollars!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #bottle neck bill, #philosophy, #worth doing, #worth delaying

View Transcript

Transcript

Bottleneck Bill perhaps you're wondering why I haven't answered your emails. Bill: My philopshy is that anything worth doing is worth delating. Dilbert: Plus you look like that. Bill: Like what?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2004's comic on:


Tags #bottle neck bill, #do his job, #miscellaneous

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I need your help forcing Bottleneck Bill to do his job so I can do my job." "I'll be all over that... as soon as I finish other things." "What other things?" "Well, for example, miscellaneous."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2005's comic on:


Tags #things that don't kill, #great minds, #think alike, #spilt milk, #different findings

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "Have you ever noticed that the things that don't kill you make you weaker?" "And great minds don't think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions." "I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill"