Break Tie Comic Strips - Page 3
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Dogbert hands a tie to Ratbert and says, "Ratbert, I want you to eat one of Dilbert's ties. Maybe it will help solve the mystery of why they always curl up." Ratbert eats the tie and says, "Mmm . . . Delicious, but starchy . . . One of the more full-bodied accessories I've tasted . . ." Dogbert carries Ratbert by the tail. Ratbert, whose body has stiffened, says, "Oil . . . can . . ." Dogbert says, "Geez . . . And that was only the placebo necktie."
Dilbert leans against the hassock looking at a yearbook. Dilbert says, "This high school yearbook really brings back the memories." Dilbert shows Dogbert the yearbook and says, "There's Dopey Bobby Noober. Every day we'd tie him to the flagpole and stuff live frogs in his pants." Dogbert asks, "Where is he now?" Dilbert replies, "He's still the principal . . . Not the happiest guy I've ever known."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "The minutes from the last family meeting show that all the votes were a one-one tie." Dilbert continues, "One of us will have to have a baby so we can break these ties." Dogbert replies, "I vote that you have the baby."
The judge says, "Mister Dogbert, you made a good argument in your petimony suit against Dilbert . . ." The judge pounds his gavel and says, "But Dilbert had some good points, too . . . I call it a tie." The judge thinks, "Third tie this week . . . Maybe it's me . . ."
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Have you heard about the Idaho flu that's going around?" Dogbert continues, "At first you feel perfectly healthy . . . Then bam, you die." Dilbert pulls on his tie and says, "Hey, I feel perfectly healthy right now." Dogbert walks away thinking, "My work here is done."
The Boss says to Dilbert and a woman, "I'm proud to announce that the company has found yet another way to dehumanize the employees." The Boss continues, "From now on you will wear identification badges at work. This symbolizes that people who look like you are often criminals." The Boss adds, "Oh . . . And the cafeteria is closed. We'll just lay down some alfalfa in the break room."
Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I'm going to start jogging again." Dilbert wears a sweatshirt and sweatpants. He leans down to tie his sneakers and thinks, "Why does everybody tie their laces in the same type of knot?" Dilbert thinks, "From an engineering perspective, there are planety of good alternatives to the standard knot." Dilbert thinks, "This is how innovation begins; one man who refuses to accept the conventional wisdom." Dilbert says, "Ha ha! I'll invent my own knot! A rebellious, audacious knot!" Dilbert pulls the shoelaces and shouts, "Like this and this and this! Ha ha ha!!" Dogbert enters the bedroom and sees Dilbert lying on the floor with his laces wrapped around his body. Dogbert says, "Many people wonder why there haven't been more engineers in the Olympics." Dilbert says, "Call the Boy Scouts."
Dilbert says to Tim, "Gee, Tim, you look awful." Tim replies, "I've been working for five days without any sleep to finish this report." Tim's clothes are disheveled and he has circles under his eyes. Tim continues, "At first I had a mental block. But on the fourth day I was visited by an Incan monkey god who told me what to write." Dilbert replies, "Wow, lucky break." Tim says, "Now I just have to find somebody who can translate his simple but beautiful language."
Dilbert sits at the desk and Dogbert sits next to him. Dilbert says, "There . . . I think I've invented a way to send vast amounts of data without fiber optic cables." Dilbert continues, "It's a simple application of J. S. Bell's theorem. He showed that if you break up a molecule and change the spin of one electron, the spin of the other electrons originally joined will immediately change too, no matter where they are." Dilbert asks, "What do you think the fiber optic industry will give me for this." Dogbert replies, "A horse's head in your bed."
An Elbonian lies face down in the mud. Another Elbonian man says to Dilbert, "You crushed our leader. Now YOU must be the new rebel leader." Dilbert replies, "I'm a diplomat, on a peace mission." The Elbonian says, "A wise Elbonian once said 'In a race between a rock and a pig, don't varnish your clams.'" Dilbert says, "That's stupid." The Elbonian crosses his arms and asks, "What kind of diplomat are you??" Dilbert replies, "First day on the job . . . Gimme a break."