Cafeteria Comic Strips - Page 3

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29 Results for Cafeteria

View 21 - 29 results for cafeteria comic strips. Discover the best "Cafeteria" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2000's comic on:


Tags #rendered useless, #stress, #bad management, #secret, #quiet, #blare

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Asok says to the Boss and Dilbert, "This week I was rendered useless by the stress of bad management." Dilbert says to Asok, "That's something we only say in the cafeteria." Asok says to the Boss, "You're doing a terrific job!" Dilbert says to Asok, "Try to find a middle range."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2004's comic on:


Tags #american accents, #dawg in chevy, #missles, #cafeteria, #call center, #elbonians

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Elbonia Call Center Remember to use your american accents! YEE- HAA!! lets put the dawg in the cherry! look at the size of my misses!! We only do it that way in the cafeteria. Opps sorry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #no annual raises, #ouift, #cafeteria napkins, #colonize mars, #distractions, #guide conversation away

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources The Boss: How do I tell people that there won't be any annual raises?" CAtbert: If someone tries to raise the topic, guide the conversation away." "...And thats why my outfit is made of cafeteria napkins." "Do you think we'll ever colonize Mars?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2006's comic on:


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"Dilbert, meet Albert. He's old, but I like to call him experienced." "I'm trying to win an award for being one of the best places to work if you have one foot in the grave." "I'm only 54. I ran a marathon yesterday." "I asked the cafeteria to stock up on food that's easy to gum."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I'll be right back after I return these dishes to the cafeteria." "Whoa, whoa!" "Winners don't return dishes to the cafeteria." "Then how do the dishes get back?" "You must use your power of low standards." "Just place the dishes on the floor and wait for a loser with high standards." "Gaaa! Dishes on the floor!" "Once again I have to clean up after slobs!" "It is like a miracle." "Now ask her to bring you back a yogurt."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2011's comic on:


Tags #absurdly complicated, #financial model, #absenteeism, #error, #excel sheet, #stock holders, #poison cafeteria

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CEO: according to your absurdly complicated finical model, we can double revenue by increasing absenteeism. To be fair, there might be an error or two in the excel spreadsheet. CEO: Maybe , but I think I owe it to our stockholders to poison the cafeteria just to be sure,

Software Killed Ted

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Software Killed Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2015's comic on:


Tags #invention, #software, #free will, #behavior, #murder, #anger, #glitch, #malfunction, #control, #self control, #psychology, #engineering

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Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.

Dilbert Has Free Will

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Dilbert Has Free Will - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #free will, #crime, #invention, #murder, #control, #self control, #guilt, #innocence

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Police Officer: Halt! You are under arrest for killing Ted in a cafeteria fight. Dilbert: I am innocent. My brain stimulator had a software glitch that made me do it. Police Officer: But you had free will, right? Dilbert: Do I have to believe in magic just to get arrested?

Wally's Reading Time

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Wally's Reading Time - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #meetings, #office, #office workers

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alice: wally, can we meet tomorrow at 8 am? wally: that's when i eat breakfast in the cafeteria. alice: how about 9 am? wally: that would bump into my bowel and reading time.