Combine Words Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

139 Results for Combine Words

View 21 - 30 results for combine words comic strips. Discover the best "Combine Words" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #draft documentation, #get soon, #lowly tech writer, #big important engineer, #fruit of labor, #validate, #value on planet, #blank pages, #bluffing for months

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina asks Dilbert, "Did you review my draft documentation yet?" Dilbert sits at his desk and replies, "Uh . . . I'll get to it soon." Tina says, "That's what you've been saying since July!!" Tina continues, "I know I'm only a lowly technical writer and you're a big important engineer . . ." Tina screams, "But is it too much to ask for you to glance at the fruits of my labor?!!!" Tina grabs Dilbert's tie and yells, "Five lousy mintues is all it would take to validate my value on this planet! Read it, you fetid pile of compost!!" Dilbert opens a binder and says, "Okay, okay! I'll read it right now!" Dilbert says, "These pages are blank! You've been bluffing for months!" Tina looks nervous. Tina says, "I think I'll go have a yummy compost salad with delicious fetid cheese." Dilbert says, "I'm going to look up those words."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hired, #finance, #dept, #cut spending, #studying, #inefficeincy, #boldface, #electricity, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert stands on Dilbert's desk and says, "I've been hired by the finance department to help cut spending." Ratbert continues, "I'll be studying your every move and looking for waste and inefficiency." Looking over Dilbert's shoulder at his monitor, Ratbert says, "Those words in boldface look like they're sucking up the ol' electricity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #correction, #ant farm, #milton bradley, #uncle milting industries, #game company, #public clarification, #habitat disgusting creatures, #lawyers

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Correction." Dogbert sits behind a desk saying, "A recent Dilbert strip used the words 'ant farm' to describe a habitat for ants." Dogbert continues, "Lawyers have informed me that 'ant farm' is a trademark of 'Uncle Milton Industries, Inc.' They demand a public clarification." Dilbert asks, "What SHOULD we call a habitat for worthless and disgusting little creatures?" Dogbert replies, "Law school."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #simple molecules, #powerful chemicals, #simple cells, #powerful life forms, #powerful comouters, #less capable components, #supreme being, #future, #god consciousness, #files, #web browser, #fly

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert walk through the park. Dogbert says, "Simple molecules combine to make powerful chemicals . . ." Dogbert continues, "Simple cells combine to make powerful lifeforms." Dogbert continues, "Simple electronics combine to make powerful computers." Dogbert continues, "Logically, all things are created by a combination of simpler, less capable components." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a rock. Dogbert continues, "Therefore, a supreme being must be our FUTURE, not our origin!" Dogbert says, "What if 'God' is the consciousness that will be created when enough of us are connected by the Internet?!!" Dilbert says, "That would certainly limit the types of files I download. I wonder what it would do to response times." Dogbert says, "It's so nice to spend time alone with my thoughts." Dilbert says, "My web browser would FLY!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing plan, #comments, #obvious generalities, #wishful thinking, #business value, #glamour career

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee from marketing, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The woman says, "And that's the marketing plan. Any comments?" Dilbert says, "It appears to be a bunch of obvious generalities and wishful thinking with no apparent business value." The woman thinks, "Marketing didn't turn out to be the glamour career I expected." Wally shows his copy of the plan to Dilbert and says, "I circled all the words you won't find in any dictionary."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quality assurance, #heres resume, #words spelled wrong, #not even bothered, #hired, #base salry

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "I'd be perfect for the job in quality assurance. Here's my resume." The Boss looks at the resume and asks, "Are you bothered by the fact that half of your words are spelled wrong?" Ratbert replies, "Nope! I'm not even bothered by your anal-retentive behavior." The Boss says, "You're hired. Your bonus will equal negative 100% of your base salary, okay?" Ratbert says, "I don't see any problem with that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #team building exercise, #mile from shore, #swim back, #only hope, #intelligent doplohin, #plaught, #tuna net

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert thinks as he swims through the water, "Uh-oh . . . I'm a mile from shore and too exhausted to swim back." Dilbert thinks, "My only hope is that an intelligent dolphin will see my plight and rescue me." Dilbert sees a dolphin and thinks, "I'm in luck!" The dolphin says, "Two words: tuna . . . net."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attention grabbing, #best result, #booth babes, #botth, #magic tricks, #raffkles, #several options, #special effcets, #trade show

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a conference table next to a laptop and an overhead projector. Dogbert tells Alice, "Your booth at the trade show must be attention-grabbing. You have several options." Dogbert says, "1. Magic tricks 2. special effects 3. raffles 4. booth babes." Dogbert continues, "For the best result, combine all four: create the illusion that you're raffling off the booth babes." Alice asks, "Booth babes?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #10 year anniversary, #service anniversary catalog, #ceremony, #speech, #pick out gift, #catalogue, #golf ball, #t shirt

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol tells Wally, "Today is your ten-year anniversary, Wally." Carol says, "Pick a gift from the service anniversary catalog." Wally asks, "Is there a ceremony?" Carol replies, "Yeah. We just had it." Wally asks, "May I say a few words?" Carol replies, "Anywhere but here." Wally looks through the catalog and tells Dilbert, "The selection of gifts at the ten-year level is somewhat meager." Dilbert says, "The golf ball is nice." Wally says, "I'm leaning toward the 'I'm with stupid' shirt." Dilbert says, "All I see is a blank shirt." Wally says, "It comes with a fabric pen." Dilbert says, "I can almost feel the love our company has for us." Wally asks, "What do you mean 'us'?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #combine words, #ecosystem, #engagement manger, #ratbert, #seem smart, #walmart

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Ratbert, I'm going back into the consulting business and I need you to be my engagement manager." Dogbert continues, "You'll seem very smart if you randomly combine the words on this list and make many references to 'Wal-Mart.'" Ratbert sits at a conference table with Dilbert and the Boss. Ratbert says, "It's like 'Wal-Mart.' Migrate your value into the white spaces of the ecosystem." The Boss says, "Wow! That's one smart rat!"