Crime Scene Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

85 Results for Crime Scene

View 21 - 30 results for crime scene comic strips. Discover the best "Crime Scene" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags company resources, resume, headhunter, perfect crime, got mail

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice types at her computer and thinks, "heh-heh.. I'm usig compnay resources to e-mail my resume to a headhunter Alice thinks, "It's the perfect crime." The boss sits at his computer. The boss says, "I've got mail!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags system failures, data aren't actionable, no practical value, crime, guilty, feel awkward, incident

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted says to Dilbert and Wally, "We had fifteen system failures with the previous software." Dilbert says to Ted, "Your data aren't actionable." Ted replies, "What?" Dilbert continues, "Your presentation has no practical walue." Ted throws his hands in the air in defeat and says to Dilbert, "Well, if that's suddenly a crime then call me guilty!" Wally says, "Now the meeting feels awkward can we go back to acting interested?" Dilbert replies, "I guess." Ted says, "Fine. Let's put this ugly incident behind us."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags fired me yesterday, leaving previous job, non buisness, use of internet, crime dont pay

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, looking at a piece of paper, asks Dilbert, "And what's your reason for leaving your previous job?" Dilbert answers, "You fired me yesterday for non-business use of the internet." The Boss says, "Crime doesn't pay." Dilbert says, "Wait until you hear my minimum acceptable salary."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags crime, finding guilty, jury finding, proram, witness protection

View Transcript

Transcript

The jury verdict DILBERT: WE FIND THE DEFENDANT GUILTY.... ...OF THIS CRIME AND MAYBE A FEW OTHERS THAT DIDNT COME UP, LASTLY, DO YOU HAVE ANY BROCHURES FRO THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bar, burp, chug chardonnay, drinks, drunk, drunkards, gross, guzzled, hit on, pig, scene, sloshed, slurred words, strictly business, business man, date, animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice and a businessman sit at a bar. Alice says, "This is strictly business, right? We're going to talk about your company's product." The businessman raises his glass to Alice and says, "I bet I can drink for chardonnay than you can." Later, Alice's hair is completely dishevelled and both Alice and the businessman are slumped in their chairs, totally drunk. Alice says, "You're a hanshum man and so ish your twin bruver." The business man burps loudly.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags writing code, doing job, excellent benefits, package, eating sandwhich, crime pays, working, other compnay, stolen sandwhich

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert sit in the breakroom eating lunch with a co-worker. The co-worker says, "I spend all day writing code for another company while it looks like I'm doing my job here." The co-worker pauses from eating a sandwich and says, "Crime pays, and it also has an excellent benefits package." Wally looks at his co-worker and says, "Are you eating my sandwich?" The co-worker answers, "I'm saving mine for dinner."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags illegal to clone humans, frame clone, for crime, same thing to me, immoral

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "Yes, the technology to clone you exists, but it's illegal to clone humans." The Boss responds, "If the cops find out, we can frame my clone for the crime." Dilbert replies, "That is so wrong." The Boss responds, "Why? He'd do the same thing to me!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags script for meeting, script, twice a year, act one, scene two, admiration, leadership, employment, deliver line, eyes moist, sliced onion, morale

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "Here's your script for the meeting." Dilbert asks, "Script?" The Boss explains, "My boss sees me only twice a year. I want everything to go smoothly." Dilbert looks at the script and says, "In act one, scene two, when I proclaim my admiration for your leadership..." Dilbert continues, "What's my motivation?" The Boss replies, "Employment." Dilbert says, "Good, good." The Boss adds, "And it would help if your eyes were moist when you deliver the line." Dilbert points to his pocket and says, "I'll put a sliced onion in my shirt pocket." The Boss, The Boss' boss, and Dilbert are meeting. The Boss' boss says to Dilbert, "Hello, underling, how is your morale?" Dilbert is sobbing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags airport security, epidural layer, plastic bag, federal crime, airport tsa, hassle, terrorists, airlines, bins, line, xrays

View Transcript

Transcript

Airport Security Please remove your jacket and shoes Please remove your epidermal layer and put it in a plastic bag. It is a federal crime to mention the movies "Ishtar" "Glitter" or "Gigli"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags new chip, slower, claim fastest, benchmark test, used old drivers, wearing a wire, marketing, crime, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Our new chip is slower than our competition's products." The Boss: "We'll claim we're the fastest. If anyone does benchmark tests, we'll say they used old drivers." Dilbert: "Whenever I talk to you, I feel like I should be wearing a wire." The boss: "Since when is marketing a crime?"