Department Comic Strips - Page 3
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View 21 - 30 results for department comic strips. Discover the best "Department" comics from Dilbert.com.
The Boss tells Dilbert, "We're having a department bowling night tomorrow." The Boss continues, "It's my way of rewarding all of you for your performance this quarter." Dilbert replies, "We hate doing things together at night." The Boss says, "I wasn't happy with your performance."
Dilbert asks the Boss, "Do you have a minute?" The Boss sits at his desk and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's touchy-feely stuff." Dilbert asks, "What's going to happen to our department? The rumors are flying." The Boss asks, "What have you heard?" Dilbert replies, "Rumor has it that flying lizards from the planet Zorb will buy the company." Dilbert continues, "They plan to turn the employees into giant corn dogs on sticks." The Boss replies, "Don't worry about rumors. It's business as usual for now." Dilbert gulps and walks away. The Boss thinks, "I think I handled that pretty well." Dilbert and Wally have long sticks on their backs. Dilbert asks, "Are you sure this will impress the Zorbians?" Wally replies, "I hear they like team players."
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to help Susan put the department budget together." Dilbert's tie stands up and he says, "Budget?!" Dilbert begs, "No, please! I'll be branded for life. The other engineers will spit on me." The Boss thinks, "Darn, his guard is up." Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "I'll have to wear a raincoat to work!"
The Boos, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called karoshi." The Boss continues, "I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department." The Boss continues, "The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon."
Phil the Ruler of Heck leads Dilbert into the elevator by his tie. Dilbert asks, "What's the penalty for stealing a chair??" Phil replies, "You are sentenced to sit in the break room used by the accounting department." Dilbert sits at a table with two men. One man says, "I like to type the number six." The other looks into his paper bag and says, "Cripes! This is my Tuesday lunch bag."
Tina: "Dilbert, I'm forming a small clique of all the young, funny, single people in the department." "We'll have drinks during lunch, talk about ski trips, and have romances within the group." Dilbert: "Please...just shoot me now." Tina: "No, no...we need you to do our work."
Dilbert: we in engineering think of the marketing department as our customer, Fred. FRED: Thats great. Id like you to do a technical feasibility study for me. Wally: would that require any work? I said "customer" not boss.
The Boss: Susan, I want you to make some budget cuts throughout my department. Susan: But Im only the budget analyst. I couldn't understand all the engineering projects enough to make intelligent choices. The Boss: Really? Great! I thought it was just me! Susan: Shall I whomp up a strategy while Im at it?
The Boss: All of our projects are floundering. I decided on a bold new strategy. Dilbert: Let me guess You're going to randomly reorganize the department.... Dilbert: Just like last month. The Boss: you have to admit thats bold.
The Boss: We'll need a name for the newly reorganized department. The name should reflect how Ive seamlessly integrated engineering with food services and procurement. Dilbert: How about "chips and dips"? Wally: "Blind Ambition" Man: " The unled"