Direct Flight Comic Strips - Page 3

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72 Results for Direct Flight

View 21 - 30 results for direct flight comic strips. Discover the best "Direct Flight" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1997's comic on:


Tags #boss, #down in jet, #minor injuries, #saved by padding, #saved by prayer, #work great, #minor hair injuries, #100 nuns onboard, #nunnery, #not a lot of aerobics

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Alice throws her arms out wide and says, "Work has been great since our Boss went down in the jet!" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh." The Boss walks in, one side of his pointy hair bandaged. Alice and Dilbert are shocked. The Boss says, "I survived with only minor injuries. I was lucky to be on a flight that had a hundredd nuns onboard." Alice says, "You were saved by prayer?" The Boss replies, "No, padding. They don't do a lot of aerobics at the nunnery."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1998's comic on:


Tags #airport, #gold stories, #change seat, #six hour flight

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Caption: "At the airport" The huge, annoying woman spots Dilbert and yells, "Hey, Dilbert! We must be taking the same flight!" Woman says, "I'll change my seat assignment so we can talk for six hours." Dilbert exclaims, "No, no! That's okay!" Dilbert doesn't want to sit by her. Sitting next to each other on the plane, woman says, "These flights can be very long if you don't have someone to listen to your golf stories."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 1999's comic on:


Tags #two more people, #enough direct reports, #vice president title, #strategy

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The boss reads a memo and thinks, "If I eliminate the training budget, I can afford to hire two more people." The Boss smirks, and thinks, "Then I'll have enough direct reports to get a vice president title." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Shouldn't we have a strategy?" The Boss says, "I have one. Thanks for asking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2001's comic on:


Tags #flight, #three am, #slap head, #uncross eyes, #coffee, #crazy, #alice crazy, #airplane, #travel airfare

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A frazzled-looking Alice says to Dilbert, "My flight didn't get in until three this morning." Alice asks Dilbert, "Would you mind slapping the back of my head until my eyes uncross?" As Dilbert stands behind Alice and raises a notebook to slap her, Alice pushes her coffee cup toward Asok the Intern. Alice says, "Pour all of your coffee in here and no one gets hurt."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2001's comic on:


Tags #all night flight, #came to work, #usual, #jeopardize, #missing work, #park in lobby, #out of it, #disheveled

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A frazzled-looking Alice says to The Boss, "My flight took all night but I still came to work on time as usual." Alice continues, "I didn't want to jeopardize the company by missing work." A male co-worker says to Alice, "You're not allowed to park in the lobby." Alice yells, "Since when?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2001's comic on:


Tags #co pilot seat, #fly 747, #pilot, #chiroparcter, #people flying plane, #commercial airline, #over booked, #random

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Dilbert stands in front of an airline desk speaking with a flight attendant. The flight attendant says, "We overbooked. But I can give you the co-pilot's seat if you know how to fly a 747." Dilbert stands in front of a long line of people and says, "Um...Yeah, okay. I can fly a 747." Dilbert is in the cockpit of a plane with another guy. Dilbert asks, "Should I do something?" The guy replies, "Beats me. I'm a chiropractor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2001's comic on:


Tags #dogcart airplines, #flight exits, #35 hours, #flight delayed, #weather, #direct sunlight

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Headline: Dogbert Airlines. A disheveled customer says to Dogbert, "I've been waiting for 35 hours. Are you sure my flight exists?" Dogbert responds, "According to my computer your flight is delayed by weather." The customer asks, "What kind of weather?" Dogbert responds, "Our planes can't handle direct sunlight."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bad hotel, #bubonic inn, #elbonia, #fleas, #mattress, #what kind of fleas

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Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert says to an Elbonian, "Excuse me. My boss is cheap; can you direct me to a bad hotel?" The Elbonian responds, "I recommend the Bubonic Inn. It is so bad they will pay you to stay there." The man behind the hotel counter looks like a skeleton and has a rat on his head. The man says, "What kind of fleas do you want in your mattress?" Dilbert replies, "Lazy ones."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #full service broker, #stick broker, #brokers know stocks, #earn trust, #direct approach, #garbage, #biggest commission

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Dilbert walks into the office of a Full Service Broker. The Broker introduces himself to Dilbert, "I'm Bob Weaselton, your full-service stockbroker." Bob continues, "There are two ways we can go here." Bob continues, "Option one: I act as if brokers know which stocks are better than others." Bob continues, "Then I'll earn your trust by comparing your portfolio to misleading benchmarks." Bob continues, "But I prefer a more direct approach." Bob continues, "Option two: I sell you whatever garbage earns me the biggest commission." Dilbert comes home and says to Dogbert, "Would you do me a favor and lie to me?" Dogbert responds, "Nice haircut."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2002's comic on:


Tags #poisoned, #bad user interface design, #crowd out ugly, #staggering beauty, #drink in, #garbageman advice

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Headline: In Elbonia. Dilbert says to an Elbonian, "Excuse me. My boss is cheap; can you direct me to a bad hotel?" The Elbonian responds, "I recommend the Bubonic Inn. It is so bad they will pay you to stay there." The man behind the hotel counter looks like a skeleton and has a rat on his head. The man says, "What kind of fleas do you want in your mattress?" Dilbert replies, "Lazy ones."