Doctors Comic Strips - Page 3

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42 Results for Doctors

View 21 - 30 results for doctors comic strips. Discover the best "Doctors" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2005's comic on:


Tags #doctors offcie, #exam room, #toxikill, #drug comapny, #totally hot, #side effects, #what eaten, #doctor, #thinking of date, #drug rep, #hot, #payoff, #kick back, #medical

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Doctor: You're healthy but I have to give you a prescription for tocikill. The drug company's rep is totally hot and said she'd take me to lunch if I sell enough of this stuff." Dilbert: Will there be any side effects?" " Doctor: Depends on what I eat."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2005's comic on:


Tags #medical procedure, #attractive to opposite sex, #remove body part, #sounds painful

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There's a medical procedure that will make you more attractive to the opposite sex. "The doctors would remove part of your body and replace them with the parts from an attractive guy." "It sounds painful." "Not if you do it all at once."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2007's comic on:


Tags #personal problems, #doctors, #opeation, #serial problems, #steady diet, #licorice, #diet soda, #spleen, #c4 explosive, #support group, #alqueda

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Nancy, the employee with serious personal problems Nancy: "The doctors say I need an operation." "They think my steady diet of licorice and diet soda turned my spleen into a C-4 explosive." "So I joined a support group. Have you heard of Al Qaeda?" Dilbert: "Gotta go..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 2008's comic on:


Tags #doctors office, #doctors note, #sick, #doesn't believe, #waiting room, #ethical, #believe, #lie, #nine diseases, #medical

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Dilbert: I need a doctor's note for the two days of work I missed." Doctor: You look healthy to me. Dilbert: I got better. Doctor: how do I know you were sick? Dilbert: The note just needs to say I was sick. Doctor: so you want me to lie?" It's not a lie. I really was sick. Medical Doctor: If your company doesn't trust you, why should I?" Dilbert: Good point. What if I let the people in your waiting room cough on me? Then you can write a note saying I have what they have. Doctor: As long as I didn't recommend it. I think that passes ethical muster." The Boss: You have nine diseases?" Dilbert: That have names.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2008's comic on:


Tags #addicted to internet, #doctor, #interesting, #internet, #medicine, #offcie, #pill, #underlying probelm, #medical, #technology

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Dilbert: I'm addicted to the internet because it's more interesting than people. Is there a pill you can give to everyone else to make them more interesting? Doctors never want to treat the underlying problem.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2009's comic on:


Tags #reading, #guide, #Advice, #guilt, #annoyed

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Asok says, "According to the book of Wally, I should use something called 'Preemptive guilt' to avoid work." Wally says, "Exactly. If you wait until after you get an assignment, it is already too late for guilt." Wally says, "Stress killed both of my parents. The doctors said they worked too hard."q

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #doctors' offices, #medicines, #whiny idiots, #pill, #doctor, #exam room, #office, #treadmill, #pass out, #medical

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Dilbert: I'm sick of listening to whiny idiots. Do you have a pill for that? Doctor: I sure do! I took a handful of them this morning and I feel great in spite of your complaining! How funny would it be if I make you run on a treadmill until you pass out?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2011's comic on:


Tags #doctors, #employees, #medicines, #nice guys, #paid less, #aggressive jerks, #offer raise, #testosterone injections, #illegal, #dangerous, #unethical, #tiny income, #business

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Dilbert: Studies show that nice guys get paid less than aggressive jerks. Dogbert: Maybe you should offer your doctor 10% of your next raise if he gives you testosterone injections. Dilbert: That would be illegal, dangerous, and unethical. Dogbert: Said the man with the tiny income.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 2011's comic on:


Tags #doctors' offices, #illness, #bad case, #wahtchamacallit, #pills, #doctors offcie, #doctor, #wicked hemorrhoids, #feel like progress, #medical

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Doctor: You've got a bad case of whatchamacallit. These pills won't fix your underlying problem, but they might give you a wicked case of hemorrhoids. And I can treat hemorrhoids, so that would feel like progress.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2012's comic on:


Tags #bluetooth, #bluetooth headset, #cyborg, #doctors, #ear, #full human, #happiness, #intraocular lenses, #inventions, #pill form, #powered by chemistry, #streaming video, #surgically enbed, #vision correction, #dentits, #special surgery, #psychology

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Dilbert: I know I'd be happier as a cyborg than a full human. I want you to surgically embed a bluetooth headset in my ear, powered by my own body chemistry. And I'd like intra-ocular lenses with vision correction and streaming video over bluetooth. Doctor: Happiness only comes in pill form.