Driving Violations Comic Strips - Page 3

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41 Results for Driving Violations

View 21 - 30 results for driving violations comic strips. Discover the best "Driving Violations" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Wally, I've documented all of your disciplinary issues in your personnel file." "You have violations for every letter of the alphabet except Z. For some reason you missed that one." Zzzzzz

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dark, decompose, defecation, driving, green consultant, hate earth, procreating, stop eating

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Dogbert the Green Consultant Dogbert: "Stop eating, breathing, driving, defecating, and procreating." "Sit in the dark and decompose on some garden seeds." "Or do you admit you hate Earth?" The Boss:"A little."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags driving, traveling, angry, dangerous

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Dilbert says, "Thanks for the ride. My company cut back on the travel budget." Driver says, "Do you mind if we stop at an abandoned slaughterhouse that's miles from civilization?" Dilbert says, "A little." Driver says, "Are you trying to make me angry?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags automobile driving, company car, crazy, data center, directions, gadgets, gps directions, gps navigation system

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Boss: Take a company car and meet a customer at our data center on Montgomery and Pine. Dilbert: I can't drive to an unfamiliar place with Alice. She'll spend the entire trip arguing with the GPS navigation system. Boss: No one does that. Dilbert: Allow me to demonstrate. My phone says we should take this route. Alice: What?! Is it crazy? We are not taking 880! Change your mind! Change your mind! Change your mind! Dilbert: It gets worse. Alice: If you listen to this liar, I will end you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), managers & supervisors, thwarting rivals, competitions, expensive engineering solutions, business

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Dilbert: Have you heard any rumors about what is driving our boss's decisions lately? Alice: He's thwarting a rival within the company by offering only prohibitively expensive engineering solutions. Dilbert: My work has meaning, but it's not the good kind.

Asok Asks For His Job Back

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Asok Asks For His Job Back - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags driver, money, taxi, ride share, rideshare, disillusionment

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Asok: I'm here to beg for my job back. Driving for Uber was less glamorous than I'd hoped. My mental health and my bladder have been stretched to their limits. Boss: Maybe we could discuss this over a tiled floor area.

Dilbert Falls Asleep At The Wheel

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Dilbert Falls Asleep At The Wheel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags safety, catch-22, fatigue, accident, driving

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Dilbert: I fell asleep at the wheel because I stayed up all night to meet your deadline. I had to work all night because you made me attend a mandatory safety meeting yesterday. But at least I got my work done on time. Boss: I forgot to tell you the meeting got moved to next week.

Men Who Do The Driving

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Men Who Do The Driving - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, driving, Men, conversation, relationships

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Woman: I like a man who always offers to do the driving on dates? Dilbert: Like Uber? Woman: But less expensive, and no waiting. Dilbert; So you're saying I'm better than Uber? Woman: You would be if you didn't talk.

Texting The Boss

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Texting The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags texting, driving, distraction, trick, murder, killing, malice

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Carol: Hold on, I have to text my boss while he's driving. I'll say it's a crisis so he has to text back. Dilbert: Is it legal to kill him that way? Carol: Yes, I checked with a lawyer first.

Boss Wrecks Car

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Boss Wrecks Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags text, distraction, texting, murder, plot, driving

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Boss: I wrecked my car because I was responding to your urgent text. For the third time in a row. Carol: What are you implying? Boss: Are you trying to kill me? Carol: I blame your bad judgment.