Furniture Comic Strips - Page 3

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34 Results for Furniture

View 21 - 30 results for furniture comic strips. Discover the best "Furniture" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hotel check out, #movies rented, #porn, #burn furniture

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I hope you enjoyed your stay. I'll just check to see what movies you rented. GAA!!! GAAA!!!! GAA!!!! GAAA!!! GAAA!!!! and i recommend that we burn the furniture.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Alice, this is Ellen, your new natural enemy." "You're highly skilled but mannish, whereas Ellen is unqualified and totally hot." "Now I have to decide who will come with me to the trade show in Hawaii and who will do the furniture inventory."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Wally's keynote speech "The source of all unhappiness is other people." "The sooner you learn to think of other people as noisy furniture, the sooner you will be happy." "That's the stupidest advice I've ever heard!" "Hey, it's a talking ottoman! Hee-hee!"

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"When you're done researching new technology, I want you to inventory our furniture." "When do you think you'll be done?" "When will you forget you asked me, and assign the furniture project to someone else?" "Two weeks." "I'll be done in 15 days."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presdient, #first 100 days, #carve name, #furniture, #switzerland

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"If you are elected president, what will you do in the first hundred days?" "I figure it will take me at least that long to carve my name in all the furniture." "Then it would be time to wipe that smug smile off of Switzerland's face."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #criticism, #ridicule, #stupidity, #ignoring, #distracted, #work, #desk, #forgetting

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the Boss says, "Why didn't you get my input on the vendor selection?" Dilbert says, "I tried, but?" Dilbert says, "You're so easily distracted that for all practical purposes you're nothing but furniture with coffee breath." The Boss says, "Where were we?" Dilbert says, "You were praising me for my good attitude."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Astrology, #furniture, #magic, #feng shui, #black magic, #voodoo, #psychic, #overbooked, #office design, #occult

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Dilbert: The feng shui consultant you asked for is overbooked. But I found a guy who is heavily into astrology, black magic, and voodoo. Boss: Are you trying to tell me something? Dilbert: Ask him. He's also a psychic.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #children, #ignorance (knowledge), #replaced by robot, #replaced by hammer, #ugly, #furniture, #Family

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Carol: My 12-year-old wants to know what career would prevent him from being replaced by a robot. Dilbert: I've met your son, and I'm pretty sure he could be replaced by a hammer. Carol: This took an ugly turn. Dilbert: Maybe the robots can use him as furniture.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friendship, #introvert, #drained, #human vibe, #bird, #furniture, #robots, #animals, #relationships

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Wally: You claim to be an introvert and yet you never seem to be drained when you talk to me. Dilbert: That's because you don't put off a human vibe. I experience you in the same way I experience birds, furniture, and robots. Wally: You totally get me. Dilbert: Don't talk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #low standards, #managers, #standards, #micro manage, #furniture, #communicates, #plan, #temporary boss

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Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: I have come to micromanage you. But only until I replace you with a robot and turn you into furniture. Dilbert: On the plus side, he has a plan and he communicates well.