Goes To Store Comic Strips - Page 3

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208 Results for Goes To Store

View 21 - 30 results for goes to store comic strips. Discover the best "Goes To Store" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #express lane, #grocery, #store, #woman, #old women

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Dilbert stands in the express line at the supermarket. The cashier says to the old woman in front of Dilbert, "This looks like a lot more than ten items, ma'am." The woman replies, "It doesn't matter. I'm old and you must do as I say." The woman continues, "I have some coupons for totally unrelated products and a fourth-party personal check from North Yemen." The woman reaches into her purse and says, "They're hopelessly lost in my bag. I'll rummage while you all wait." As she rummages, her head disappears into the bag. She says, "What the . . ." The store clerk watches as the woman screams and falls into the pocketbook. The clerk tells Dilbert, "Wild coyotes in the handbag . . . I've seen this before." A dog barks and burps inside the bag.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #woman, #loaves, #bread, #dough, #grocery store, #jimmy, #toaster, #bonded, #post pardom

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Dogbert sits on a park bench with a woman holding a baby. Dogbert asks, "Why are you hugging that loaf of French bread?" The woman replies, "Hee hee! Yeah, newborn babies do look like loaves of bread." Dogbert says, "But in this case I think your baby IS a loaf of French bread." The woman looks closely at the blanket and says, "That would explain the smell of dough." The woman takes the bread out of the blanket. She says, "Must have been a mix-up at the grocery store." The woman says, "I hope this doesn't mean somebody is sticking little Jimmy in a toaster somewhere." Dogbert replies, "I'm sure he'll pop up." The baby pops out of a shopping bag. The woman says, "Ah, there you are in the grocery bag." The woman says, "I think I bonded with the bread." Dogbert says, "Remind me not to eat hoagies at your house."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #shopping, #nerdstrom, #compile family, #complimentary, #guarantee, #nice

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Dilbert walks into a store called Nerdstrom. A salesclerk says to Dilbert, "Hi, I'm Larry, and I'll be your personal shopping assistant." The salesman opens a measuring tape and says, "I'll start by measuring you, then I'll do your colors, then compile a brief family history for our records." The salesman continues, "Complimentary food and beverages will be served, and a masseuse is on call." Dilbert says, "I'm looking for a new pen . . . Maybe something in a Bic." The man says, "I recommend the blue. We guarantee it for life." Dilbert says, "Yes, this will do nicely." Back at home, Dogbert asks, "Was it expensive?" Dilbert replies, "Fortunately, I qualified for their identured servant plan."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dilbert's ego, #feeding, #toupee, #store, #disowned

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Dogbert: I know you; you're filbert's ego. Dilbert's Ego: Correct. I disowned him. Me just wasn't feeding me enough. Dogbert: What can a little ego do to feed itself. Dilbert: Which way to the toupee store.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dilbert's ego, #sunglasses, #personality, #toupee, #roy orbison, #rely, #employee, #store, #update, #image

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Dilbert's Ego: I'm Dilbert's ego. I'd like to update image with a toupee. Male Employee: I recommend the, "Roy Orbison," Model. It comes with sunglasses. Dilbert's Ego: Now I won't have to rely so heavily on my personality,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #exploding, #cigars, #harmful, #inconclusive

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Dilbert stands at the counter in a joke store. The salesclerk says, "You might be interested in our exploding cigars." The clerk lights a cigar and says, "I'll fire one up just to show you . . ." The trick cigar explodes. Dilbert asks, "Aren't they harmful?" The clerk, who has burns on his face, replies, "Studies are inconclusive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #cigars, #exploding, #hilarious, #smoke, #hooked, #prank, #joke

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Dilbert says, "Dogbert, look what I got at the joke store: exploding cigars!" Dilbert says as he lights a trick cigar, "Heh-heh . . . These are hilarious - watch." The cigar explodes. Dogbert looks at Dilbert, who is lying on the floor. Dogbert says, "I think you're supposed to get OTHER people to smoke them." Dilbert replies, "Too late now; I'm hooked."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #car, #oaf, #court, #circus contortionist, #accident

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Dilbert's car taps the car behind it. Dilbert says, "Oh, carp . . . I'd better see if I dented it." Dilbert leans into the car and tells the driver, "Your bumper doesn't appear to be . . . Uh-oh." The driver's legs and arms are contorted. He shouts at Dilbert, "Look what you've done to me, you oaf!!" The man hops out of the car and shouts, "I'll see you in court!!" The driver sits in the witness stand and tells the judge, ". . . And now I'll never be able to work again." The lawyer asks, "What kind of work did you do?" The man replies, "Well, uh . . . Er . . . Um . . ." The man answers, "Circus contortionist." The man adds, "As far as the settlement goes, I can be flexible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #clyde, #canyon, #hiking, #exploring, #flight, #arrangements, #carry-on, #luggage, #overhead, #compartment

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit on an airplane. Dilbert says, "We can spend the first day at Clyde Canyon hiking and exploring . . ." Dogbert growls. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Are you still mad about the flight arrangements?" Dogbert looks angry. The flight attendant says to Dilbert, "Sir, you'll have to store your carry-on luggage in the overhead compartment." Dogbert growls.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #Political, #city, #county, #state, #federal, #world, #leader, #choice, #price

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Two aliens say to Dogbert, "Take us to your leader." Dogbert asks, "What kind of leader do you want . . .? Spiritual? Economic? Political? Military?" One alien asks, "Political?" The other replies, "Try it." Dogbert says, "Okay, do you want a city, county, state, federal or world political leader?" One alien says, "World . . . Definitely world." The other says, "Multiple choice is so easy." Dogbert says, "Sorry . . . Trick question. There is no political leader of the world." Dogbert continues, "But over that hill is a grocery store that claims to be the price leader." Dilbert arrives at home wearing burned clothes and carrying a bag of groceries. He tells Dogbert, "The strangest thing happened at the grocery store." Dogbert says, "It's been a strange day."