Guts Comic Strips - Page 3

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27 Results for Guts

View 21 - 27 results for guts comic strips. Discover the best "Guts" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #employees, #hatered, #run over, #clown, #ugly truth, #demise, #bad wishes, #business

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The Ugly Truth Visits Man: Your employees hate your carb-fattened guts. They hope you get run over by a clown car because it will make your demise extra funny. Boss: I hear mumbling but no on is there! Man: It's weird for me too.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 09, 2012's comic on:


Tags #hypocrisy, #golden rule, #test your rule, #hypocrite, #engineer, #hatred, #hypocricy, #manipulate, #engineering

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Boss: We can make this a great place to work by following the golden rule. Treat others as you would want them to treat you. Dilbert: That's dumb. Boss: It's not dumb! Dilbert: Let's test your rule. Would you like it if someone gave you a hundred dollars? Boss: Yes. Dilbert: Okay. So give me a hundred dollars. Or else forever live as a hypocrite who doesn't follow his own rule. Wally: Snork! Alice: Snork! Boss: I hate your engineering guts!!! Dilbert: At least you're making sense now.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2013's comic on:


Tags #obliviousness, #work ethic, #lawyer, #60 page contract, #amendements, #900 contracts, #tax law, #17 managers, #good leaders, #standards, #legal

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Boss: Our lawyer sent over a sixty-page contract renewal that I need you to review. Make sure you compare it to the original contract and all six or seven amendments. Dilbert: Are there six or... seven? Boss: No one really knows. Check out our other nine hundred contracts to make sure this one doesn't violate any of those. Keep in mind our five-year strategic plan and all likely changes to tax law. Then get buy-in from the seventeen managers who hate my guts and will take it out on you. By tomorrow. Good leaders set high standards.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2013's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #thinking, #ceos technology challenge, #innovative ideas, #fresh water, #elbonia, #award winning ideas, #water in a box

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CEO: I'm proud to announce the winner in the CEO's technology challenge. Two weeks ago, I challenged you to come up with innovative ideas for getting fresh water to Elbonia. The winner is someone named Wally. Wally's idea for bringing fresh water to Elbonia is... "in a box." That's the best one? Boss: We only had one entry. CEO: I hate your bald guts. Wally: I get that a lot. If you need me, I'll be in my cubicle thinking up award-winning ideas.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #health, #morning, #waking up, #sleepless, #complaining, #manager, #sociopath, #emotions

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Boss: Can you take a call with our Elbonian customers at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Dilbert: Sure. All I need to do is put my health at risk by not getting enough sleep tonight. Of course, I'll hate your guts for making me come to work so early. And I would expect my bad attitude to infect my co-workers and make them less productive, too. My lack of sleep will affect my decision-making, obviously. And I"m working on important projects, so the ripple effect could be catastrophic. So, do you still want me to be here at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Boss: Yes. You don't have to be a sociopath to be a manager, but it helps.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #waiter, #restaurant, #service industry, #impatient, #patience, #complaining

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Waiter: Here are your french fries. Dilbert: Gaaaa!!! I have no salt. Waiter: I will bring the salt right away. Dilbert: No, you won't. This isn't my first time eating out! You say you will bring salt, but you will be distracted by another table. I will sit here in anger while I watch you do things that do not involve bringing me salt. As the temperature of my fries drops, my cortisol levels will increase. In five minutes I will hate your guts and this restaurant, too. I also need ketchup. Waiter: That will take a little longer.

Dilbert Is Bad At Reading Faces

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Dilbert Is Bad At Reading Faces - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office workers, #psychology, #over sleeping, #pancakes, #hungry

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dilbert: i'm not good at reading faces. what does that one mean? man: it means i'm mad at myself for over sleeping and having to rush to work, so i hate your guts. dilbert: oh. i was guessing it was something about pancakes. probably because i'm hungry.