Highly Unethical Comic Strips - Page 3
84 Results for Highly Unethical
View 21 - 30 results for highly unethical comic strips. Discover the best "Highly Unethical" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 16, 1997's comic on:
The Boss says, "You'll love your new assignment, Alice." Alice thinks, "Uh-oh." The Boss says, "You're going to redesign all of our brochures!" Alice replies, "I'm an electrical engineer, not a graphic artist." The Boss says, "We can discuss your huge inadequacies during your annual review." Alice replies, "I'm not inadequate. I'm a highly skilled engineer." The Boss says, "And yet you can't make brochures." Alice says, "Okay, let me try to explain this in the simplest possible way . . ." Alice continues, "You . . . Are . . . An . . . Idiot." Alice sits at her desk thinking, "The simplest possible explanation isn't always the best." Wally stands behind her and says, "Hey, it looks like a brochure, only uglier!"
Share August 08, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert stands before a manager, possibly the Boss. He says, "I appreciate your new "open book management" philosophy." Dilbert continues, "For example, I've learned that we're repurchasing stock while I'm working unpaid overtime." Dilbert says, "Yet I remain highly motivated because I understand that income and equity are distinct concepts." The manager says, "Who said ignorance is bliss? Ha!"
Share August 31, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert holds a paper and says, "I'll make a quick copy and then we can discuss it." The Boss says, "No, no. I'll have my secretary do that." Dilbert protests, "That will take longer." The Boss says, "It's more cost-effective." The Boss hands the paper to Carol and says,"We're highly-paid professionals. Carol is... well... I don't know if we pay her at all." The Boss says, "Now we'refree to do high-level planning." DIlbert says, "Um... we kinda need that document." Carol is in her cubicle and drops the document on a stack of papers labeled "Urgent." She looks at her watch and says, "Ooh, time for lunch." Dilbert rests his head in his hands and the Boss says, "So... do you fish?"
Share October 24, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dogbert says, "If you want to be promoted, you have to be highly visible." Dogbert says, "Ask questions at meetings. But make them easy so you don't embarrass your boss." Dilbert is in a meeting with Wally and the Boss. Dilbert says, "...So if there's an accident in a company car, where should we bury the survivors?" The Boss says, "I usually put them in the trunk."
Share December 28, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert stands with a chef's hat and a cookbook. He thinks, "Making soup is easy for a highly trained engineer." Dilbert looks in the cabinet and thinks, "I don't seem to have any 'coarse sea salt.'" Dilbert shakes his salt shaker and thinks, "I'll just mix regular salt with water." Dilbert continues reading and thinks, "Corn starch...that's basically flour." He leans into the refriderator and thinks, "Marjoram...I think that's French for butter." Dilbert continues reading, "'Five inches of Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese rind.' Uh-oh." Dilbert looks at eggs and says, "Eggs are basically cheese that comes from chickens." Dogbert looks at his slice of steaming hot soup and says, "Is this supposed to be served hot?" Dilbert replies, "You're thinking of gazpacho."
Share June 11, 1998's comic on:
Wally, Carol, and Ted sitting at a table. Wally says, "Unlike you people in Marketing, I have highly sought technical skills." Carol looking at Wally while he says, "I'm too valuable to fire. So from now on, I'll deliver my project status on a balled-up piece of paper." Carol growls with her arms folded, "Grrr." Wally asks, "Is the cheerleader squad ready?" as he is about to flick a crumbled piece of paper into Ted's open arms (table hockey).
Share July 24, 1998's comic on:
Dogbert sitting on the couch. Dilbert sitting on floor. Dilbert says, "Apparently my boss has been replaced by a highly intelligent alien." Dilbert faces Dogbert and continues, "That means my real boss is being held captive in some sort of hideous alien prison." Dogbert asks, "What do you plan to do about it?" Dilbert replies, "It was just an observation."
Share January 02, 1999's comic on:
The boss says, to Dilbert who reads a newspaper, "The company will no longer pay for the newspaper subscriptions." Dilbert says, "I pay for this myself. The news is highly relevant to my job." The boss says, "Is there anything I can do to make it less enjoyable?" Dilbert says, "Just keep jabbering."
Share August 23, 1999's comic on:
The boss sstands in Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you on a team." The boss says, "You'll be working with other intelligent, highly motivated people plus..." The boss puts his arm around a tall cave man looking man and says, "A stubborn dumb guy with a v-neck sweater."
Share June 11, 2000's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I cut your budget in half." Dilbert replies, "How can I do a technology installation without an adequate budget?!" The Boss says, "Try being unethical with our vendors." Dilbert answers, "What?" The Boss replies, "It's easy." The Boss continues, "Tell them we might make a huge purchase. Later..." The Boss goes on to say, "...If they give us a bunch of free stuff now." The Boss says to Dilbert, "If it makes you feel better, wait until they lie first." The vendor representative says to Dilbert, "And there are no hidden costs." Dilbert says to the representative, "Um...we might make a huge purchase later."