Insults Woman Comic Strips - Page 3
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Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "So, uh . . . How do you like working at the library reference desk?" The woman replies, "It's pretty good, now that I've memorized all the books. No more flipping through pages . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm feeling a bit inadequate at the moment." The woman replies, "Don't worry. I'll just think about other things while you're talking."
Dilbert and a woman with a huge head sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Gosh, Brainella, I've never dated a woman as smart as you before . . ." Dilbert says, "Let's just start right in talking about all kinds of smart stuff. C'mon, give me your best shot. I'm not intimidated." Brainella replies, "Not here. If your brain explodes, it'll ruin my outfit."
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert tells the woman, "I like your dress." He thinks, "Women love flattery." Dilbert says, "It reminds me of my favorite dish cloth." He thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Wrong thing to say." Dilbert says, "Of course, I'm not talking about an ORDINARY dish cloth." Dilbert thinks, "Dig, dig . . ." Dilbert continues, "I'm talking about a truly fashionable dish cloth here . . . In fact, if I dropped Jello on my shoes I'd leave it there all day rather than use your dress to wipe it up." The woman overturns the table, wraps the tablecloth around Dilbert's head and leaves. Dilbert lies on the floor and says, "Some women just don't know how to accept a compliment gracefully."
Dilbert thinks, "I can tell what my date is thinking by her body language." Dilbert thinks, "Her body is telling me 'Let's cuddle by a fireplace. . .'" Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant and his date stands on her chair holding a chainsaw. Dilbert thinks, "'I'll get some firewood,' she says . . ."
Dilbert stands next to a woman in an elevator. Dilbert thinks, "Riding elevators is so awkward." Dilbert thinks, "Stare straight ahead . . . Don't breathe . . . Don't fidget . . . Don't blink . . . Arms hang like limp weights . . ." The woman thinks, "I think he's dead." Dilbert thinks, "Above all, act naturally."
Dilbert, Dogbert and an old woman sit on a park bench. The old woman says, "Men don't whistle at me anymore." The woman continues, "I credit the women's movement for making men more sensitive to how whistling degrades women." As Dilbert gets up to leave, Dogbert asks the woman, "What's the climate like on your planet?"
The caption says, "Dilbert greets his blind date." Dilbert thinks, "This is the biggest woman I've ever seen." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Hi." Dilbert thinks, "I have only one chance of financially surviving dinner." The woman says, "Hi." Dilbert says, "Say . . . Why don't we go to the 'All-you-can-eat House of Starch and Pasta?'" The woman replies, "Can't . . . Banned for life."
Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with an enormous woman. Dilbert thinks, "I will NEVER go on another blind date." Dilbert says, "So, Jabba . . . Er . . . I mean, Janet, have you dated many other men?" Janet replies, "Yes, but they all disappeared without a trace. Incidentally, you look delicious tonight."
Dilbert and an enormous woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert shakes as he asks, "Y-y-you m-m-mean ALL of your ex-boyfriends disappeared without a trace?" Janet replies, "Yeah. It's the strangest thing . . ." Dilbert thinks, "Good Lord, she must have eaten them!!" Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So while she was sucking the cheesecake off the dessert cart, I dove out the window." Dilbert's clothes are ripped and his head is bandaged.
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "When I was a kid I threw spitballs at girls to show I liked them." Dilbert continues, "Now I just grovel and beg for dates." Dilbert concludes, "Frankly, the old way was more satisfying."